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A Consistent Fun Family Life for busy moms!

Hello, im mom! Im a wife and mom, i work fulltime, a blogging mom, run the family company ads and do the admin work and pay roll and recently started social networking business. So welcome busy moms!

Hi Momma

I have seen people creating lovely moments that were planned for bridal showers and baby showers. People look for gifts and outfits to attend and find a way to attend and afford. It means whatever you put your mind on anything is possible for busy moms. It all starts with a decision to make time daily.

Our childen grow so fast, not so long ago our babies were new born babies but now they can feed themselves, get themselves to the bathroom, bath themselves and time really moves. It is possible to realise after children are in their teens that you missed time with them when they were toddlers and before their teens. I know how challenging toddlers can be, our royal priesthoods have grown with the first born Charis (8), Shalom (4) and Kairos (3) and it is important not to lose our bond with them while they are young.

We do so well in engaging on social media which is totally okay because we are social beings but our responsibility to love, nuture, give time affection and attention are very important. All we are doing daily with our children is planting seeds that will grow and we have to eventually harvest later especially in their teens and maybe shape up whom they will become in life. Psalms 22:6 reads ” Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it”

A picture of our babies who gave themselves a shopping spree while we were replenishing groceries.

How often do you put down your cellphone or gadgets just to focus on your children?
As a parent you feel a major disconnection with your children when your attention is divided. Sometimes that feeling could come as a huge feeling of disatisfaction at home, being overly distracted because we sometimes we cover our weaknesses with many disteactions and not face them head on.

I recall quitting social media when our 3rd baby arrived, but i do regret completely shutting myself off from the world because i have three years to catch up on on the media world and it can be tough. What i have learnt is to minimise the use of gadgets around your children as much as possible not necessarily cutting it off. You still need the genuine connections you make on social media. It is an art of balancing it well, i use the Digital Wellbeing and Parental controls settings that have screen time, app timers and wind down time.

Social media marketing ads can take its toll and most importantly. Now as moms we find ways to work smarter around it and we learn everyday.

Children will not remember how you went to work to provide for them but they desire oneness, an intimate relationship with their parents or guardians to not just be told they are loved but to have a knowing of Love. Okay wait, they will remember and acknowledge when they are older but now they are young, they know you are their super hero and all they want is not just your gifts but your time too.

I usually have my moments too as a parent where i focus to much on the blog and social media ads yet i work fulltime but there is this void that hits me really hard and i realise i need to disconect just a bit online with social media and connect with our children and my husband. Children grow so well in an environment where the parents are one with each other and its the best gift parents can ever give to your children. A safe and peaceful environment.

Mom creating new content images for the company run by my husband and i fir social media ads.

The girls love different things but mostly they have things in common like loving tea parties, picnics, dressing up, girl time and flowers. We can simply find ways to get these or make it possible for them. What i love is children do not really need a price tag on these things but for you to remember and honour what they love too. It encourages them as they develop who they are.
Our son Charis (8) loves worship songs and he just sings and carries a microphone all day. Its his passion, we sometimes sing along with him and now he leads our daily prayers at home with our children.

When you have toddlers and i believe teenagers too the temptation is to frown more times than you actually smile at them. They are mostly messing the house, too energetic, breaking things and its easier to lose focus in giving them love by shouting constantly and i too find myself shouting but when you realise then you stop. How can we make our homes conducive for their growth because they need to play and be free as they learn the environment and feed their curiosity.

Often its easier to focus on deadlines at work and many challenges we face as parents when we are at home because we need to focus on so many things to be done in the home.
Whenever possible save some cash for an outing just to relax and focus on the children i believe this help refocus just on children.
One may say that there is not enough money sometimes but there are many ways to bond without spending much. I love taking walks, hiking, picnics, movie marathon great for children and playing their favourite games.
My husband and i have really energetic children so we choose our hangout spots with them wiselyūüėÄ.We love these place in Eswatini thst is, Malolotja Nature Reserve, Maguga Dam Restaurant, Sibebe Rock Spur, Malandela’s has a large space for children to explore and just trying new places together. Its really fun!

Malolotja Nature Reserves is one of our most fave hangout spots in Eswatini, we love nature, big space and great food from their restaurant.

Another reason we really prioritise their outings is because they school at home. They have always been homeschooled and vacations came top to our list of priorities. We registered them at a real school at Abeka Academy in Pensacola, Florida USA. I helped them for classes earlier as they have their teacher online and now we got a teacher to maximise their time for class who fascilitates their studies with their teacher at Abeka to meet deadlines. If you find yourself interested in homeschooling especially in these times visit http://www.abeka.com a Christian school and you can even chat to them online. For more information feel free to email me allthingsgodlypretty@gmail.com

Teacher Veronica who tutors our children during their online classes @abekaacademy since i work fulltime i had to find help to meet school deadlines.

I remember this one time i was off work and i took time to go with them to a restaurant in Mbabane while daddy was at work. Resist the temptation to take your nanny with you on their outings most times children just want some time alone with you.

One of the reasons we chose a helper that commutes daily is to focus completely on children when we are home and learn to help each other as husband and wife in taking care of them and we have grown in taking care of each other with the children too. They grow knowing that whatever help they need when we are home they get it from us and not our nanny. Our nannies are so important to us and our children but we can learn to balance our quality time too.

My husband adds that sometimes we overwhelm our homes with relatives and children hardly find one on one times with parents, pay attention to such things or find a way to make your children a priority admist it all.

Have conversations with your children and they will hint in their words things they really like and things they really do not like. They will even tell you how a nanny treats them while you are not home but that may not be possible if the nanny is always around. If you choose to have a stay in nanny try to have many off weekends for the nanny to get to know your babies better if it is possible.

Recently i started cooking with the whole family so we bond when time is limited as suggested by a friend on social media, i totally love it.

It was a cold day but we got all dressed up just to go out for some hot chocolate and we had a good chat in a different environment

Having a social life is not a bad thing at all, you can actually learn so much from others but it is important to make time for the family too. I noticed over the years that males normally associate such a lifestyle as western and normally belittle men who love their wife and children and makes time for them. The decision lies with the husband and a wife what they want for their family, how they see themselves living their life whether its based on other people’s opinion or on what they believe the Word of God desires for them.

I love bonding sessions with my husband too because we catch up on so much and ways we could make a fun, happy and Christful life for our children.

When leading a family it requires spiritual maturity so to know what things you can or cannot allow to your family. A man is the leader in the family and he leads how he desire his family to be. The word of the Lord emphasises on praying for our leaders. It is not as easy because the decisions affects later generations too.
1 Timothy 3:4
Thank you for spending this time with me, remember that i am not just here to tell you what to do but to bring you to a state of awareness concerning happy times with our families. Let us have fun my loves and bond in our unique ways that blend well with who you are and your purposecas a family together.
I love you so much. #Godblessyouandyourfamilies

Our children playing during a family outing.

Uncommon & Common Apps For The Modern Mom

We live in a world where we carry gadgets and they are so useful to us at work, at home and in our businesses.

However everything that is useful and adds value to our lives can be misused. Moms live between work and home and it can be a tight schedule. This applies to stay at home moms believe it or not they too have a tight schedule and they sometimes wish for a day off away from home and out for their me time.

More moms are now considering side hustles or opening and running their businesses on the side on top of their full time job. We also have social media pages where we market our products and even our blogs.

We want to enhance our lifestyle and afford comforts for ourselves and our families too.

People are now pursuing their passions more than ever before.

Cell phones come in handy for parents because there are many things we use them for concerning our families, work and our business and we are able to accomplish certain tasks while in the comfort of our homes.

What is more handy on the cellphones are the apps on them and their benefits. They could benefit you as a mom in running your  day to day life and you find that it eases the little worries that you may be going through as a mom.

On our previous post we looked at Why You Are Always  An Exhausted Mom! And How To Reverse Burn Out. Today we look at apps that will actually make your life much more organised.

Banking Apps!

This is so comforting for a mom and as much as times are demanding for modern moms there are those little comforts we find that make our lives much easier than having to run to different places during the week.

A mom is able to handle bills anywhere even if they are on an outing on a hot summer day.

It would serve you best to reduce many movements to different places, instead of going to town and paying certain monthly bills there, find a way you can handle payments on your cell phone through their apps or just a simple bank transfer or payment online.

Many forms of payments have been introduced to us like bank transfers, debit orders, e wallet, instant money, mobile money and so many other ways. Use them to your convenience and comfort.

It would help to communicate with your service providers for a convenient way to pay bills in the comfort of your home. This makes motherhood such a bliss because your leisure time really becomes leisure and not hard work running errands with children or worse leaving them at home and missing out on your time together.

Take the most advantage of your banking apps because you can change your limit where you are, link your your bank accounts, transfer your money to savings pocket or other savings without actually leaving where you are.

These are one of those technologies that we enjoy the most as busy parents raising children, working, running businesses, blogs and so much more. Life just becomes as simple as using your smart phone apps.

Is not that such a time saver!

App Timers

This feature on your cell phone normally comes with your cell phone as an in built feature or setting. You can download it as an app if it is not on your phone.

The reason i love this app is because it reminds you of the other important things in life like family time, homework time and it logs you out on others apps where you have used this app to set a limit on how long you can use each app on your cellphone for.

It is easy to scroll on your photos or on social media apps and realise after an hour or two that everything else was at a standstill in your life. As a parent you cannot afford that.

This app can shut other apps and just open one for texts and calls so that there are no notifications from other apps to distract you while you engage with your children.

Did you know your children notice when you are too busy on your cell phone or on your Television programmes daily and have no time for them?

You can use this as a reminder too to shift your focus to something else. This feature dims the light on my cell phone and it notifies me to get ready for sleep because i have made it important to get a good night. sleep.

The Alarm Clock

It sounds like an old but this is very effective at getting us up on time in the mornings.

If you have decided to use the morning hours to do exercises and pursue your goals and dreams before work and with the most quiet times in the house then you will wake up an hour or two earlier and your alarm clock will help you get up until your body gets used to this internally.

For other parents , they sleep through until the morning and do most the night before. However an alarm can help you rise up in time to prepare breakfast and lunch boxes.

We can use the alarm clock not only for the mornings but for reminders. You can set an alarm to remind you;

  • It is time to take the children to bed!
  • For important appointments so you can prepare for them.

Lets make use of these kind of apps on our cellphones to help us be more organised this year better than we were last year.

Timer

The Uncommon Route To Mom Sanity

This app comes with the alarm clock and i have come to love it so much. I know you will too as you find it more useful. It will work for you when you do your exercises, when you cook, when you have a deadline at work and so much more we get up to during the day.

I know a lot of moms loved this one especially, time blocking. The timer on your alarm clock allows you to allocate a set limit of minutes to each task on your to do list and minimises distractions because you know you have a limited time to do each task.

By the end of the day, you find that you have been more productive than you have ever been when you were not focused on each task at a time for a certain period of time.

When we are unaware what time we need to do something on a given day, a day can pass or even a week and a month without accomplishing the task and the only assumption is that we did not have time.

“We create the time for things that have value to us as individuals.”

Camera

This app not only captures memories of your family in the form of pictures and videos but you can snap pictures of important documents so that when you forget where you have placed them you can easily find the pictures and be able to locate what you need.

I love taking screenshots on my phone whenever i am inspired by something i see and interested in learning. It just keeps these on my cellphone and i am able to view them whenever i need inspiration. It can work as your digital vision board too of what interests you and what you would like to pursue, learn and own.

Screenshot meal ideas, family vacation spots ideas, the way you want to dress as a mom and the way you want to dress your family, your business set up, the way you want to do your make up, the kind of house you desire to build just to name a few

Yes of course the camera comes in handy to keep pictures and videos of your family and you can be able to organise them too in albums so that you can easily locate what you are looking for in the future.

Another interesting thing about your cell phone camera is that you always have your cell phone with you, right? However you can easily forget your purse and cards at home as we change hand bags sometimes as ladies.

Simply take pictures of your identification, passport, drivers licence and other forms of identifications in case you need them but you forgot them or misplaced them.

Note pad App

Have your to do list right with you all the time because it is on your cell phone. Your cell phone is always with you unless you forget it which is rare.

This is unlike carrying a physical diary because when its not with you, you can easily forget some of the things you wrote down on your diary. This is not to say that the diary is not important but your cell phone has such an app where you can write notes of what you need to o accomplish both short term and long term.

Moms always have something to do, the other day i wanted to braid the girls hair after supper. After a long day at work that can be easily forgotten too.

Use the note pad for

  • Making important notes
  • To do list for the day, week, month.
  • Meal planning
  • Grocery list
  • Notes for stories, posts, blog, business whenever you feel inspired wherever you are. Then when you need to use this you can just copy and paste to other apps or social media pages or on your ads.
  • Journal your business journey, marriage, career or even prepare to write a book so one day you can serve others with your knowledge on a certain subject matter.

The list is endless

WordPress

Ever had trouble figuring out certain things that surprise you in motherhood like:

getting a baby to sleep more;

how to deal with your baby if they are a picky eater;

what to do when your baby’s temperature is high and how to treat it even before heading out to the clinic.

Preparing for the post partum journey.

Or you have just had a new baby and you are having a hard time getting your baby to latch on your breasts and breastfeed properly.

That is why there are blogs so you can get advise from moms who struggled with those things before.

Whenever you have a hard time, simply grab your phone and seek advice. Now there are mom communities, blogs and social media pages where you can get help from moms who serve others through what they have learnt in their journeys.

Such moms are always ready to assist you and make you feel capable as a mom.

This is a good platform for bloggers who want to journal about their journey in whatever they feel their heart is connected to.

We have different passions and for some its their motherhood journey, some its fitness, skin care, makeup , interior design, fashion trends and you can blog about just anything even if its not about motherhood.

You Tube

Learn just about anything here. People are sharing tips on how they lost weight after having a baby to gardening tips.

This is one of my favourite apps as a mom because to be quite honest sometimes your schedule is so tight that all you can do is watch a how to video while you cook so you can maximise the time you have available.

You can learn how to cook more meals and just broaden your meal planning at home to keep your home warm and interesting. You may discover dishes that are more healthier and interesting to your children.

I use you tube a lot for my morning exercises too where i do cardio, kickboxing, yoga, strength resistance exercises and all i do is play a downloaded video on thus app and i am a fit mom because i am able to be consistent as i can do gym at my convenience in the house.

When i started my you tube channel i focused on productive weekends with the children most probably because i struggled with balancing resting and keeping weekends adventurous especially for our Homeschooled children.

Related Vlog!

Love drenched mommy productive weekends #Malandelas #Eswatini

Pinterest!

You can get the best ideas here for so many things and even better it is on your phone.

For us moms this means tips for home renovations, home decor, dressing up the entire family in a trend you love, hairstyles for young girls, cleaning ideas, easy 10 minute make up for busy moms, how to put your outfits together and there is just a world out there that makes life so much easier for us.

Use that time available and pin things you love or even take screenshots so you can refer back to those cool ideas.

Social Media Scheduling Apps

This will be your favourite as a modern mom. We live in the days of social media and networking and what better way to be part than actually schedule your posts, stories and ads. I have loved this so much because i can schedule posts on my free time and they post automatically on the time you have set.

These are the apps anyone can use and i recommend it for not just moms but for everyone who have side businesses to make use of them and schedule their content so they are consistent and do not have pressure when their posting times approach.

One of my favourites creator studio which is best for facebook and instagram business posts. There are many other apps that allow you to schedule posts but the trick is finding one that works for you.

I would love to know which apps have been you favourite as a modern busy mom?

I trust this has been helpful for you and reminds you how capable, strong and creative you are as a parent who is the best for your children.

Remember to like and subscribe or even comment. Your feedback means a lot to this community because we learn so much from each other and we are open to learning daily.

Wrapped In Love‚̧

Futhi Mkhwanazi

Why You Are Always An Exhausted Mom! How To Reverse Burn out.

  1. You overthink
  2. You are always worried
  3. You take work home
  4. You are always online
  5. You do not prioritise your sleep
  6. You are a people pleaser
  7. You want to be a super mom ( its not going to happen)
Wearing a top by Fashion Dash Couture, follow them on Instagram and facebook!

You Overthink!

There are so many things that fill our thoughts from day to day but did you know you can choose what to think and what to ignore?

You are a mom and you probably work full time. There are so many things to do however you can just have a to do list and list all your priorities so that you avoid forgetting what needs to be done.

Putting things on paper or on your notes in your smart phone helps you focus on what you are doing currently and you do not spend all day trying to remember what you need to get done.

When your mind is all over the place, the tasks you desire to accomplish are not given your best shot.

I remember there was a time i was so overwhelmed at work with so much work to do. What helped me so much was focusing on each task i was doing.

I had a schedule for myself and each time i would accomplish one task i would make myself a cup of tea or have a snack i enjoyed.

When you tackle each task just know that you are one step closer to finishing all other tasks.

Sometimes what overwhelms you is knowing that you should have finished something but you keep procrastinating.  If it is possible tackle each task as it comes and avoid thinking about it. As you cook, clean the dishes that you will be using while cooking.

Related Post!

Time, Procrastination and Mom

You Are Always Worried

I relate so well, so this is a non judgemental space. I worried from the moment i conceived to the day i gave birth and continued to worry way after i have given birth. I get concerns if my child will be okay, if i can handle another baby.

However if worrying gets you anxious then it may be time to take a look at all the things that worry you and then work backwards trying to be more prepared, get the knowledge that can make you feel secure about your pregnancy, post partum journey and more.

Complaining

I have heard many moms complaining about their mornings and how hectic they become. Hey, i am no expect either. However let us work around this together.

What delays you in the mornings, how about you prepare the night before for things like the children’s lunch boxes, your lunch boxes and cooking once for twice?

Have you heard about time blocking? have your to- do list and allocated time to each task and better yet time yourself.

I used to find meal times after work so stressful because i would rest first before cooking then by the time i started cooking i would finish late and my family ate late and our children would be so sleepy by then.

I just had to change my priorities so i could worry less about our Meal Times Are Family Fun Times.

Related Post!

The Uncommon Route To Mom’s Sanity

You Take Work Home

Look! Our children expect our attention when we get home after being away from them for more than eight hours. Already if you are working after hours it can cause a discord between you and your children because you easily get irritated as they demand something you cannot give them.

Strategise

Your family can understand that sometimes you need to work after you come home but not every day. Come up with a strategy that will make you more efficient at work and at home too.

I post every Tuesdays and Thursdays here on the blog and it used to make me quite anxious knowing i would spend 3 hours or more after work drafting and preparing to publish a post.

Until i decided enough was enough, my family was one of my reasons for being a mom blogger and i did not want to excel on the blog and miss out on my family.

I started researching and writing down what i was learning and going through on my drafts to prepare ahead for publishing days. I would time myself, i use the 20 minute rule to draft maybe 3 times a day when i have free time.

I do plan for it, i have to know which hours i will use because if i do not plan for it i will assume i have more time than i actually do

When my publishing time came, i use 30 minutes to an hour to read and correct errors after supper.  I still am able to take my children to bed with my husband and we have our daily devotion with them.

Sometimes you do not take the physical work home but you take the weight of the stressful deadlines home. This can happen whether you are employed or you run your own business.

There was a time i used to stress a lot about my work, i was always behind schedule, there was too much work and i was always tired and worried. It affected my life at home because i was always worried about my work and i was burnt out.

Until you voice out your concerns about work no one may notice just how burdened you feel. You can also learn to be present where you are and not think about the next day at work and how you will survive it.

Related Post!

Not So Love Drenched After All

You Are Always Online

Taking 3 hours scrolling on social media without an intended purpose that will add value to your life may not be the best way to spend your leisure time.

Taking time to yourself and to be present in your environment does more good to you. You are able to focus on your life without comparing yourself to the next person you see online.

Time yourself

Time yourself on the time you use while online. Some of the smart phone come with an app timer that logs you out from an app that you have exhausted the time set on it.

One may wonder why being online can exhaust someone. Well your mind is always busy working. Just viewing statuses all day can make you overthink.

Have a set time for going through your social media and then when your time is up use that time to rest, focus on other things like your family and whatever you had planned to do that day.

Multi tasking between being online and giving someone attention is the most exhausting thing i have ever done. It leaves you tired and unsatisfied.

You Do Not Prioritise Your sleep

I talk about sleeping well all the time maybe because i deprived myself for so long and i was hanging by a thread most days.

If there are days in a week where you sleep late, try your best to sleep early the other days and allow your body to recover and rest.

Sleeping well helps you focus throughout the day and be productive.

Things are different when you have just had a new born baby, you still have to learn baby and find ways to sleep when the baby sleeps and eventually train the baby to sleep through the night. It is easier said than done and this needs a blog post of its own.

If you baby happens to sleep through the night, journal the events on the night be

You Are A People Pleaser

It is important for moms to learn to say no and prioritise their time. This is a different season in your life that requires you to take care of yourself so that you are in a better position to take care of your children.

Your children deserve a healthy happy parent who will be able to take them to the park and watch them grow and be able bodied.

This part of your life called motherhood is not the same as it was when you were younger and had not started a family. Some events may just have to take place without you.

You will be much more rested and have more time to yourself and then for your family.

It may help to journal what is most important to you, what you desire to be and where you want to go in life. Then from there minimise the things that take up your time yet they add little to no value to your life.

Related Post!

Self Care Is More Than Just A Beauty Routine

You Want To Be A Super Mom!

Ok Wait! that is not going to happen and you are setting yourself up for failing because there is no accurate measure for a super mom. You will exhaust yourself and not even ask for help because you want to be everything for your children.

It does take a community to raise children! You are not an island and we all need each other. I get so surprised when mothers judge each other because this journey is not an easy one. I can blog about motherhood but there are still many things i am learning and they still surprise me.

I was surprised by my 3 year old recently because i thought we had passed the tantrum stage only to have her throw a major tantrum because she saw a gift basket at a local shop and i did not buy it for her. I did not plan for it and she went all in with the tantrum screaming and shouting all the way to the car.

I must say i was not prepared for it.  I had a tantrum of my own( i did nit handle it well at all) and we just keep learning and getting better along this journey.

It is ok to ask for help, just because you had a bad day does not mean you are a bad mom.

There are ways that are measurable on just keeping track with your goals as a mom like being present, preparing meals before everyone gets sleepy, checking on schoolwork, teaching the word of God, teaching chores, learning to communicate well with your childen even when they misbehaving.

What is it that you desire to do differently this year?

What are the things you believe are stopping you from making more time at home and still pursue your dreams?

What does 6 months to a year from now look like for you and your family? Can you project it in your mind ?

Remember to leave a comment so i know your thoughts and learn from you too and do not forget to subscribe as we watch our mom/parent community grow. Stay blessed!

Wrapped In Love,

Futhi Mkhwanazi

Changing Habits That Are No Longer Serving You, The Career Mom And Business Mom.

Let me guide you through how i learnt to create new habits and leave ones that are no longer serving me as a mom and a role model to my children.

Something happened this week at work that i will share with you one day. It made me think a lot about my life as a whole.

It was a major set back the way i saw it and it just dawned on me that i did not have a clear plan for my career and growth in my field. I just rely on the fantasy that one day i will miraculously climb the ladder, grow my business and engage more in the blog. There is no plan i create and follow to become what i desire to be, this happens year after year!

Setting Goals

We set our goals every beginning of the year but never follow through because it is a fantasy. There is no clear plan to how you will accomplish your goals. I had thought i had mastered this only to realise in other areas of my life i have not articulated it well in my life as a whole.

There are things i can look back on and be so grateful i pulled through and i am still on the plan to becoming. One of my greatest goals this year is to learn to not give any energy, time and attention to thought that are not serving me.

I know that will make me a more present mom and my children will learn and model such a peaceful and calm mother.

What Do You Desire To Change This Year?

  • Make a list of things you desire to improve.
  • Come up with a plan on the process to change.
  • How do your daily habits align to your goals.
  • Whom Are you accountable to.?
  • Check your Environment, is it conducive for you to change?
  • Journal Your Journey and See your progress.

Make A List Of Things You Desire To Improve

One of the things i noticed gives you an imbalanced life (lack of harmony) where you excel in one or two areas but slack a lot in other areas is not being able to allocate time to each area of our lives so we keep improving and becoming what we desire. We may not be sure of what we want.

Maybe you have thought about looking for a new job that will have more flexible working hours so you are best able to do your mom duties with less pressure.

However you may find that it is just a fantasy because you have not done anything about it and you do not have a plan. Before you realise, the year will be over and you will not have made the progress you desire.

Solution

Being very clear about your priorities allows you to focus on those things and giving no time to things that do not add any value to your life.

It is good to know where you desire to go in life. It may help to make a projection of the kind of person you desire to look like in the future. We all have aspirations of what kind of lifestyle we desire for ourselves and for our families, what kind of parents we desire to be?

Have you paid attention to just how much your children watch tv? How do you intend to make them play more, engage in meaningful conversations with you? Do you have bible study with them? 

Write those things down and place them where you can easily see them so you are reminded of where you desire to be in 6 months, 1  year or 5- 10 years.

Example

Personally i would like to take care of my children’s outfits more and their hair. The girls really love to play dress up and whenever i am able to support them, i want to do so. Some of these things you do not realise just how much you have ignored them in the past.

Related Post!

Confessions Of A Mom Blogger

Come Up With A Plan On The Process To Change

When you have an idea of the things you want changed or the new habits you want to adopt into your lifestyle. It is important to come up with a plan.

How will you be more organised with your time?

How will you be more engaging with your husband and children and so much more?

This part is so essential to a person’s growth because it determines if they will move towards their goals or not.

Let us make a quick example. If you desire a well toned body but you still have the old habits of eating junk food more often and do not commit to any fitness plan consistently then you may not achieve what you desire.

Blogging took up all my family time since i work fulltime and i have to post on Mondays and Thursdays every week. I started to dread my posting days and no longer enjoyed them.

The problem was not blogging but it was how i managed my free time. I could use my free time drafting and preparing for my posting days but i was wasting it away accepting that i was always tired.

I have always preached against allowing distance to creep into family yet i myself allowed it and i knew i needed a plan i can stick to. Until you admit something has to change and alter your habits to drive you to your desired path then it will not work.

Let the plan be clear and my tip is that do something daily even if its for 10 minutes daily that leads you to where you want to go.

Related Post!

Do Not Let Your Dreams Die Mommy

How Do Your Daily Habits Align To Your Goals?

This one relates to the topic above! You are a busy mom and you may work fulltime or even stay at home but you want to do more with your time that could add value to your lives as a family.

The biggest trick for you is that you do not have time as you have allowed yourself to believe. Well i strongly believe that you create time for the things that matter to you.

Sometimes we ditch our long term goals because we got disappointed along the way but that does not mean we should stop trying.

So how does one align to a goal daily?

Look for something you can do every day that can bring you closer to where you are going. You may desire to start a business as a mom but are not sure about your time if it will work.

You need to consider your social media pages, your business content, your pop up adverts and how you will grow sales and still be available for your children.

Have a set time daily whether you wake up an hour earlier or you schedule the day before and create your content for the day or for the week if you are able and still  be able to focus on your family when you are done.

Creating a habit to commit to your goals daily puts you at an advantage to keep learning and growing in your field. It also teaches you a habit of consistency which is of great value and it accumulates over time.

Whom Are You Accountable to?

I have always strived to be consistent in my blog, the family businesses because i knew i am building a name that will live for long.

What drives me is that one person that follows my blog, the clients we already have and i make myself accountable to those people because of the love and respect i have for them. I strive to improve my content and our services in the business.

You can be accountable to a certain individual or a group where you share your thoughts with each other and find ways to put those thoughts into action. This will remind you of your purpose here on earth. It is important that you keep showing up so you live according to your purpose.

The honesty of children makes them the best accountability partners and teaches them responsibility for their lives while they are young.

Sometimes i will come home after work and practise applying makeup and eye lashes.

Look At Your Environment, Is It Conducive For Change?

Where we are exposed to or where we expose ourselves has more impact in our lives than you realise. You may desire to change some habits yet your friends may have them and it may be a challenge to change.

You have given birth and your baby is now eating solids at 6 months and now you want to get in shape. You may find that your house is full of unhealthy snacks and it might not be conducive for your fitness plan.

You may desire to engage more with your family and children after work through meaningful conversations but your television shows take up the whole night making you less present with everyone.

Change your environment to be conducive for you to change, learn and grow.

Journal Your Journey And See Your Progress

If you are not making any progress it means your life is not changing for the better. This does not mean try to take more load than you can handle, no ways.

In fact start improving what you are already doing and dedicate time each day to improve your cooking, organising your home, growing your business, draft invoices and profiles after supper, take 20 minutes to research on improving your content and actually read a book or the bible and grow in knowing God.

It is always a pleasure to hear from you by commenting or simply dropping me an email. I learn so much from other women here and i am so grateful for each one of you.

God bless you and your Families!

Wrapped In Love,

Futhi Mkhwanazi

Married With Children and Relationship goals to jumpstart The New Year!

Have you ever been in a shop with 3 young children all screaming for attention and new toys? Surely you need to be alone once a while so you stay sane and in love!

We have looked at most things concerning children and how we always look for ways to improve our children’s lives. There is a relationship that affects children the most and that is the relationship of their parents. It will affect the children more than you realise.

Having been married for 10 years and on the 11th year, i still do not feel qualified to speak about marriage because there is nothing to brag about really except for God’s grace in this journey.

I may have points on what has worked for us and our family but it is not the standard of marriage except for the word of God.

It is so easy to neglect this relationship because the assumption is that love should be natural and filled with butterflies. What happens when the butterflies go away?

It is the commitment of love that stays with us. What is love?

1 Corinthians 13:4
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self seeking, it is not easy angered and keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always preserves.Love never fails.

Like anything we want to improve in our lives we set an intention to do so and we sow into the direction we desire it to go. Nothing will happen by accident but by planning and intending for a good marriage like you intend to be a good parent with measurable goals ofcourse. You are the one that decides to pursue your relationships daily.

I know how it feels like after having children most often you do not plan to neglect your relationship but there are more responsibilities now that you have to be able to balance them so none lacks.

Related Post

New baby, where did time with your spouse go?

How Can We Improve Our Relationships Daily

Have A Clear Direction

Plan for your relationship and how you can make time for each other. After having children, it may be more challenging finding time with your spouse.

Schedule your time together whether you are in the house or going out on a date just the two of you because a relationship grows and once it stops growing then it might be accumulating problems and resentments that may take years of therapy to crack into.

You can communicate with your spouse of what kind of a close knit relationship you desire and then work on it together so both of you are on the same page.

Set Boundaries For Other Relationships 

Each family knows best which relationships have kept disturbing their time alone as a family. These may be friends, extended family members and so much more. You are the one that decides how far these people can go concerning your relationship.

If you have planned time alone as husband and wife it means, neither your children or any of your friends should redirect your plans unless ofcourse its a serious matter.

However do discern serious matters that deserve your time and ones that do not deserve your time. That order keeps the whole family healthy as your children understand that there is a time and season for everything.

Be Creative

Doing Things together As A Family

My husband loves this point so much. He once shared this on one of my first blog posts as guest.

It has not always been our strongest point however because as you grow to know each other and find out what works for both of you. You realise your strengths together and what God has called you for as a couple.

Taking care of chores together, cooking together or just taking care of the children together between bathing and feedings. That alone is a full sermon that preaches to the children concerning family.

I like to emphasize how unique each family is, we differ and you may enjoy different things together with your spouse. What is important is actually finding the path of togetherness.

Support Each Other

Start with yourself! Do the supporting yourself before pointing the finger on your spouse to start supporting you.

I strongly believe what you do daily, how you respond to your spouse and your thoughtfulness towards each other daily is something i call being consistent and it has a lasting impact on both of you.

It may be simple as turning on the coffee machine in the mornings so that your spouse finds the coffee ready if that is what your spouse likes.

If you are running a business, no matter how small doing it together creates a special bond between the two of you.

There is a wonderful feeling you get knowing that you are supported from home.

Lets have fun dates guys, please!

I do not want a boring life and i do not think you do either. There are ways to have fun as long as you plan for it on schedule and follow through because now that you have children it might not be as simple to just leave the children. You actually need a baby sitter or pay your nanny extra to watch them on weekends.

This gives you something to look forward to and i believe this is not the time to talk about challenges you are facing or disagreements between the two of you but a time to just have a relaxed day and come home missing the children so that the parenting role in you is motivated to do more for your family even improving from where you are.

Give yourselves the opportunity to miss your children.

Plan For A Holiday

This one can be quite tricky if you do not get used to it from the beginning when you start having children. A lot goes into taking care of children and finding a baby sitter to take care of the children can be extremely challenging.

However you can plan for a holiday and include your children on all family holidays because the idea is to have one holiday for you as parents then more as a family.

Going as a family unit is good too because the change of the environment and actually doing something fun together is what matters the most.

Nurturing A Spiritual Life Together

For how can two people walk together unless they agree. It would be very challenging. The bond that connects us to God is the whole reason we are on a journey here on earth. Take care of your spiritual life together.

Our spiritual life has brought us together so much in our lives as i have watched my husband lead our family consistently in God’s word and it brought me closer to God because his trust in God is just so undeniable and unshakeable.

That is why you find our naming of our children, schooling choices and family values are what we share because of our beliefs and values.

Pursue Intimacy As if all you did depended on it.

Why do i have to emphasize on this?

There more you have children, the little time you have available for yourselves and you find being tired takes toll on you both and it can be easy to neglect intimacy and find other pursuits that interest you individually like soccer, reality shows because it offers a form of escape from your reality to one you can just enjoy on the television yet it can steal your time in the long run.

Connect to other friends who support your love and inspire you to be a better spouse

Run away from friends who discourage you to love your wife less or to be the good wife that you desire to be.

Some people will make fun of you when you spend too much time together or you just enjoy each other’s company and if you give an ear it may affect the way you see your relationship.

It is up to you and your spouse to decide what kind of a relationship you desire and connect to people you admire too so you grow as you learn from other marriages.

Wrapped In love,

Futhi Mkhwanazi

What Has Kept you from Living Your Best Life As Mom!

Something may be as simple as organising your home, spring cleaning, planting a garden, dinner dates or getting your cars washed. However if you do not plan for such things, we live in times where there are many distractions and you may not accomplish any of them.

If you are a mom like myself and you work fulltime, when you do take your leave days you find you have not achieved any of the things you needed to do.

Normally when we take our leave days. We desire to;

  1. Spend quality time with our children
  2. Rekindle the most important relationships to us.
  3. To just rest
  4. Enjoy being pampered at the hair or nail salon
  5. Have outings whether its a staycation or a major vacation

However unless you have a clear plan on how you will manage your time you may fall short in your plans to accomplish those important things and always live below your best life possible.

We sabotage ourselves in so many ways and if you look at your life last year and put down the what we did not accomplish, what made you not accomplish your goals and find ways to win in the year 2022.

Here are some of the ways we may have not been able to live our best life yet as parents.

Comparing Ourselves!

As much as you can compare yourself or look up to certain people, there will never be a perfect match. This is because you are a unique being and your path is unique and sacred to God.

Once you see someone else’s journey and it attracts you. It should not let you look down on your own journey because this will slow down yours or you end up cutting off what you have already started to change or improve in your life.

Instead this should propel you to continue in The things you desire for yourself and your family and maintain focus while you allow that to be a reference point in your life to do your best.

I look at other moms and sometimes i feel i still have so much to learn with the way they are so loving and hands on with their families. Other times it is just the way other moms dress their children and it catches my attention.

All i need to do is note down what i learn from others and continue too on what i as an individual desire for my family and one day i will work  around improving certain things i have learnt and would like to improve.

Remember that not everything is for you. It is not everything that attracts you that may be good for you.

The Courage To Continue!

If you have ever started a business, you know how challenging it is to start something and continue even when you struggle just getting your first clients.

Maybe you would like to change the way you do things with your family to improve your lives, committing to change is not easy when the benefits you will reap are long term benefits.

Planning to save more financially comes with putting instant gratification on hold.

Not Planning To Make Progress

This is the question of how;

  • I will be more involved with my children and have quality time with each of them?
  • I will grow my business?

It will not happen by chance but it will happen by committing to becoming better daily.

So you desire more quality time with your children?

How do you plan to achieve that? What is the process that will get you there?

  • You might have to cut down the number of soapies you watch and interact with your children over meal times. See Meal Times Are Family Fun Times.
  • Or you might have to reduce the number of events you attend. Let us be realistic now, you will not be able to attend all events as much as before you had children.

Make the goal measurable so you know what you are working towards that you are putting into manifestation and commit to continuing because a relationship grows and so do our children.

One day your children will look back and appreciate the efforts and the seed you planted for their interactions with you because you are building a strong foundation for family in their hearts.

Not Planning For Your Leave Days

A picture taken from Mantenga Village in Eswatini

For the longest time whenever i took my leave days i would not plan for them and i would often wonder and complain that my days are over yet i have not accomplished what i had in mind.

I know for sure that i am not the only mom who overlooked this! Things will not just happen until you intentionally see yourself being the person you desire to become and focus on becoming too.

I look back and see what did not work for me whenever i decided to take some days  off is this;

  • Plan to rest because if i did i would not allow any  phone calls to redirect my plans to do absolutely nothing for the rest of the day allowing  my body to recharge. Incase you did not know it is a very important appointment you cannot keep missing.
  • Sleeping late knowing you are on leave and waking up feeling tired the following day and cancelling important appointments. Even if you were supposed to read the bible or read a book it means you are missing out on some wisdom that may take you time to recover from.
  • Filling up your days off from work with too many activities that may not add value to your life.where you do not find time for God, yourself and your family.

Your leave days and time off if you are a stay at home mom are supposed to add value to you in terms of your entire well being.

Let us have more intentional leave days and just beam with life when we return to work.

Allowing Distractions

These are major things that keep us pre occupied with other things we did not plan to be occupied with. This is a result of not prioritising your time well.

Have you ever sat down with the intention to start working or writing something important in your diary or even reading a book you know will improve your life.

All of a sudden you feel a strong urge start scrolling down your social media feed only to realise that after listening to that urge you are behind your schedule by 3 hours you cannot easily recover from.

Why is this so hard to break from?

This is because you have trained your mind to allow distractions without even realising that is what you are doing.

Teach your mind to focus on one thing at a time and excel in it. Learn to postpone instant gratification and start with work then reap the benefits of leisure later.

Self Doubt

Honey we all go through feelings of self doubt from time to time. I do believe there has to come a time where enough is enough. We have to rise above it and train our thoughts from each moment to live above self doubt.

Know that this is not only for you but for your children too because you are laying a foundation of who they will become.

For you to become better at something, you train yourself and stretch yourself beyond what you think especially in that moment you feel like quitting.

Allowing Failures To Hinder Your Growth

In the journey of life you will make mistakes and you need to forgive yourself and move on to make progress in life.

I have watched how each of our children have fallen many times when they were learning to walk. Children do not give up unless they constantly live in a hostile environment where they fear and are not free to express themselves.

Being a mother has humbled me so much because i cannot say that i am a super mom and that things are so easy for me.

Not yet!

I still cry when my toddler decides to swallow a coin or when i feel i have not handled well dealing with my toddler’s tantrums. I am still getting to know myself through my children.

We learn so much from our failures and we make treasure with those lessons.

Lack Of Gratitude

As you get used to your spouse, as your children grow, as you are able to handle monthly bills you may forget just how blessed you are. Living with gratitude opens  you up to see just how far you have come.

Celebrate those wins, the grace over your life to continue making progress and being in perfect health.

Rewarding Yourself

I have touched on this topic before Reward Yourself Mother!

It is important to reward yourself as you accomplish tasks, finish all your to do list items or finish household chores. It encourages you to commit to being a better parent.

Plan for that holiday, go unwind with your family without feeling any guilt for feeling goo and relaxed.

I am still to live my best life yet and i know you are too mommas. May we continue to learn and grow in our unique paths.

Wrapped In love,

Futhi mkhwanazi

The Uncommon Route To Mom Sanity

I have struggled a lot especially during the holidays with being organised and finding the time to actually prepare for meals, taking care of the whole family, preparing their outfits while i go to work and actually more importantly making time to do all these things and still stay sane.  Even if its not the holidays taking care of a family has its own challenges from week to week.

However i do know that i cannot be the only one. Some days are better than others but some days it can drain you to take on all your roles.

There are ways to improve your productivity at home so you are able to attend to your to do list in time.

  • Getting enough sleep
  • Time blocking
  • Waking up earlier for
  • Cooking once for twice
  • Bulk shopping
  • Delegate

Getting Enough sleep

This is very uncommon because we usually confuse being awake with being productive and present. Not getting enough sleep and rest can totally drain you to a point where you are unable to accomplish tasks and often feeling very sluggish. It is important to put our minds at rest.

Did you know you can actually sleep through the night but not rest because your mind may be restless and consumed with feelings of worry.

As we begin the year it may be important to start on a fresh note and improve our sleep.

Sometimes it is not just worry that may keep you awake at night but results of procrastination can keep you up at night. I am normally the victim of such a bad habit that has robbed me off my sleep. I would procrastination doing tasks and miscalulate the time it will take me to accomplish any task.

By the time i start i am already overwhelmed because i just realise i have let myself down by not starting earlier and it dawns on me that i may not finish the task.

Set a specific time for going to bed and maintain consistency with your time so your body gets used to the new clock.

Time Blocking

This is a term i recently heard of, i was already doing it but did not realise it was time blocking. I used to give myself 5 minutes every hour to read the bible and this actually worked for me.

Time blocking is a productivity time management tool where your time is divided (day or week) into smaller tasks that are allocated a specific time each. This is actually used to accomplish your to do list.

It may help to actually set your timer until you are used to focusing without allowing distractions to steal away at your time. I noticed that a timer actually helps you focus on the task without be distractde by something else because you know there is a cut off time that will need you to stop when the timer goes off.

This is training you to be much quicker and learn to accomplish all your goals.

What i also love about setting your timer is it lets you know  just how much time each task needs to be allocated to it so you are. better at allocating time for it next time.

Set your timer for each task, for smaller ones i normally just set 20 minutes and when the alarm goes off stop and do something else that deserves your attention. Unless ofcourse the task has a deadline which you cannot afford to miss like a preparing for a business presentation.

Waking Up Earlier

Moms know that you may not find the most quiet time in your schedule and in your home other than when everyone else is asleep. I remember when i started waking up earlier, it was hard on my body because i was really used to sleeping until i woke up just to take a bath and get ready for work.

Why should i wake up earlier?

It will help you have quality quiet time for yourself where you can simply read for your own personal development, plan ahead for appointments and events for your family, establish an intimate relationship with God by building a strong foundation during these quiet times, it will give you a chance to work on your dreams and your goals, you can get to know yourself and your purpose in life.

How you start you day normally sets the tone for the rest of your day. So if you are a busy mom but you would like to exercise, waking up earlier may work for you.

Cooking Once For Twice

I love intimate times with my family and actually resting with them after work. So i had to find ways to cook once a day so that i do not have to spend all my time in the kitchen that excludes the morning of course because all i do is cook Oats or Soft porridge and my nanny helps with their 10.00 AM meals.

I have found it really helpful to cook extra and keep what is left over in the fridge for later. What i have not mastered is keeping more frozen meals for rainy days. You know those days you absolutely do not feel like doing anything, I mean those days!

This just saves you more time to do other things with your time. There are many things that really suffer when we do not pay attention in accomplishing other tasks that pile up in our homes too.

Bulk Shopping

I have found this to be so much helpful over the past years and actually saves more money when buying in bulk. When you do bulk shopping you need to have your list in order. This helps you know what you can buy in bulk and keep frozen and how long it will last you.

I usually prefer shops that are wholesale shops because you get your items for a really good price and they last you longer.

There are more perishable items like vegetables which you can get weekly if you do not have a garden that has most things you need.

Delegate

This is by far one of the toughest things i have to do. Most moms as i know and i have heard other moms mention just how much they love being hands on and doing it all by themselves. This is a wonderful thing to see modern moms handling their household by themselves.

However this can be extremely exhausting if you you are constantly trying to be a super mom. You can get really tired so easily and it can drain you.

You will hear other moms mention that they can do everything by themselves, remember our needs are different. If you feel so strongly that you need help then go ahead and get help from your nanny during the day and your spouse and children.

This will also help the children learn to do some Household Chores too and be responsible while they are young.

When you start having children you normally do not have much time for each other as husband and wife like you used to before having children. One of the best ways i have loved to bond with my husband is sharing household chores and doing most things for our children together.

Make Time For Fun!

Having fun instantly makes us feel good about ourselves and makes you to be a joy to be around. Your family appreciates when you just simply relax and have fun with them. This may sound uncommon but leisure time inspires us and gives us more reason to strive to be better beings and gives us something to be grateful for.

Schedule some family activities you enjoy together once a while instead of falling into routine daily cycle. I recently shared just how much we love our Meal Times!

There are many activities that may refresh us and some may include movie nights which become really interesting as the children grow, sharing bible stories together, playing games together and actually doing what the children love also. It makes them feel really special that you listen to their needs.

I trust this comes at the right time as we start the new year. I would like to wish you all together with your families a Happy New year!

Wrapped In Love,

Futhi Mkhwanazi

How To Care For A Post Pregnancy Body, Things you will love!

If you have given birth before you most definitely know that you still look pregnant after giving birth, your belly remains black for sometime, your breasts balloon to a bigger size and if you were not oiling or moisturising with the right creams and oils your skin may be saggy here and there. If you have never had stretch marks they may develop.

I have had a lean body until we had our third baby and i just gained so much weight that i did not like it at all. However i managed to shed a bit and maintain an active lifestyle.

So my third pregnancy humbled me so much because for the first time in my life i had developed stretch marks and the worst ones. I had the black stretch marks and that is when i learnt how to take care of my body and heal it through exercise, oils, body creams, exfoliation and drinking water.

See Related Post

The Post Partum Body

I would like to talk about my favourite things that healed my body over a period of a year. My baby is 3 years old now but i had stopped taking care of it until lately when i decided to gain a bit of some weight on purpose. I needed to make sure my body gracefully takes on the new shape without wearing out.

If you have recently given birth or you would love to start a family or continue on that journey of adding children to the family then this post is for you.

You may not be planning on having a baby or dealing with a post partum body. You may just desire to lose weight or gain weight.

I share my favourite things for gracefully transitioning to whatever body form you desire without wearing the body out an most importantly protecting your skin.

Exfoliation brush

I love this routine because it has always made me feel cleaner. I did my research when i wanted to reduce the appearance of stretch marks and one of the items on the list was to exfoliate the body often because it increases blood circulation making oils and creams easily absorb to the body after exfoliation when you moisturise.

It certainly makes you feel really good after a good exfoliation process.

I bought myself body brushes that exfoliate all over the body and if you are consistent you really see the results.

It is these little things that make a big difference.

Body scrub

These are really good at exfoliating dead skin off from your body. If you are consistent your body looks really amazing. Normally they recommend you use a body scrub 2 to 3 times a week.

These come in different scents and benefits. You can choose one that suits your body type best. I normally go for moisturising ones because my skin is generally dry.

Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Skin oil Therapy

I fell in love with this tissue oil and i noted the big difference it made to my body in just one month of use. You actually feel it sink into your body after a bath making you feel so soft and womanly.

The best thing to do is just rub it into your body and massage it for it to sink in.

This oil has especially dealt with making my skin even over a short period of time.

However Queen i do not want this to limit you, use an  oil that works for your skin type. However if you have not found a solution, go grab this and use it daily for better results.

Happy Event Cream Bar Soap For Stretch Marks

I especially love this cream bar soap because it protects your skin from drying out after your bath. It protects the moisture on the skin which is favourable to heal stretch marks and saggy skin.

These little things make your skin better every day and in the long run your skin glows from within because you take good care of it. It is a small change but in the long run it makes all the difference.

Massage Lotion For Stretch Marks

This has been a miracle for me and my body. I love it so much, i use it together with my favourite oils but this is my main go to lotion every day. Just like the oil therapy i had stopped using it for almost two years however now that i have been putting on some weight again i needed it to protect my skin.

It just makes a major difference daily.

What i normally do is after my bath i immediately apply it on my damp skin. I always feel like my skin absorbs it better then i follow with my skin oil therapy. I absolutely love it.

Other Natural Oils

From time to time pamper your skin to oils just like you do your face when you do facials. Our bodies carry us, they go through harsh environmental changes and using oils among other things is really good for the body.

A common natural oil that most people love is the coconut oil. If you desire you can use it daily but it may be too much work especially if you are a mom to do full body skin care every day.

For less frustration, you need minimal skin care routine on a daily basis because you still have children to care for and a spouse that needs your time too. Then once a while, maybe a week give your body the soothing care.

Inuka Coffee Infused Hair Growth Oil

I have struggled with hair loss especially on my hairline for years. Until i came across this hair oil, for the first time in a very long time i have braided my hair confidently.

This is my biggest struggle after having children and breastfeeding. Losing my hair on my hairline had the most impact on my body. This hair oil is one of my favourite things i love right now and i am happy with my hair.

More than the body

I want you to remember my loves that taking care of yourself goes beyond the body. There is so much more to a being than the body alone, you also have a soul and mind to nurture.

See Related Post!

Self Care Is More Than Just A Beauty Routine

Its not very uncommon to question yourself from time to time if you are functioning at your best. I have mentioned before, from time to time i had an identity crisis whenever i had given birth because i would completely forget about myself and care for the precious little human.

Be gentle on yourself, you are on a journey to becoming and it is definitely not a marathon. Take whatever you can learn from others like this blog and so many other platforms you can avail yourself to.

Never stop enjoying mother hood and continue finding ways to enhance your experience.

Happy Holidays

Wrapped In Love,

Futhi Mkhwanazi

Comparing Children, How It Affects Them And What To Do.

As precious as children are people find a reason to compare them amongst each other. They will compare your own children sometimes in their presence. It may be your relatives, nanny, church mates and if you are not mindful yourself.

This is why i always emphasize that it is important to to ponder the path of your children’s feet. Know where you expose them where they will not be harmed with words and other things.

How are children compared?

  • Their appearance
  • Their abilities
  • Their personalities

Train your nanny

Train your nanny how to speak to your children. Sometimes you will pick it in your nanny’s language if she constantly compares your children then you will have to correct it.

I normally find it much more helpful to induct your nanny when she starts her job so that she can be well aware of such things. People can be very careless with words yet words stick and children absorb such words that have an impact to them like sponges.

My husband and i made it our norm to inform a new nanny how to speak to our children. We emphasize that she should avoid comparing the children and openly showing favoritism.

Sometimes one can innocently compliment one child in the presence of their own siblings. The children notice such things no matter how young they are. They pay attention to your facial expressions, body language and tone. If this is done consistently it builds up to something that is not favourable.

Correct your nanny but use wisdom

You are an employer and she is your employee. You also want them to be happy in their job. Be mindful how you speak to your nanny because you need them as much as they need you.

Therefore if you happen to pick a bad tone or notice that she is comparing your children or showing comparisons it is important that you correct it or else your children will be living under that every day and something done consistently has more impact on us. It is important to protect your children from such childhood traumas.

Once a long time ago i had to correct my nanny who complimented one of my daughters on how pretty she is and how much she lived her character. I immediately corrected her and asked her to be mindful of such things. They leave a mark on the children and how they see themselves.

Relatives

Sometimes such things can be done by your relatives, sometimes unknowingly. You find they do not use wisdom with their words. What i love is that not all relatives are very close to you and you choose whom to build a sustainable close relationship with. There are people you can correct but they still choose to remain that way.

Your close relatives will care about your relationship and will be mindful because you share so much in common.

Setting boundaries is quite healthy for relationships so we maintain peaceful relationships.

Train your children how to respond in such situations

It does not matter how young your children are but they can perceive and understand tones from people. Children can hear what you are saying and at a younger age they perceive it.

As they grow older, you teach them what they should believe and what they should not believe and this has a major impact on the way they see the world. Children are so honest they will tell you exactly what people said to them and that is your chance to uproot bad information and replace it with  the information you desire them to hold in their hearts.

Whenever our children are not feeling well, they start by asking their dad or myself to pray for them because they know that talking to God is better than anything you can ever try yourself. God will give you wisdom on what to do concerning any situation.

When we started teaching them about God’s word on a daily basis it never seemed they would absorb this much. However the little bible studies we have and prayers we have daily they are laying a foundation in their lives that there is God who created all things and we can talk to Him to guide us, heal us and above all make is whole.

Be vigilant of any changes in their Energy and Wellbeing

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10 Things your little Children Want you to know

Infants and toddlers may not be able to articulate well into words how they are feeling from time to time. They respond to changes and uncomfortable situations by throwing tantrums, crying a lot, sometimes they just withdraw themselves from interaction. Parents should watch those changes and be able to trace what may be going on in their lives.

Pre scholars and school children may be able to express well what they do not like and what makes them uncomfortable. The challenges comes when a parent does not take what a child tells them seriously.

As parents we love our children, we are willing to listen but there may be hindrances that make us not to hear our children.

  • We may be too busy
  • Not fully present because of distractions
  • We assume children just talk without meaning

It is important to pay attention to what our children say to us so we correct what may not be right in their lives.

Mindfulness of The Parent

Parents have to be careful not to fall into the trap of comparing their own children. Children have different characters and personalities. They always want to please their parents and when they are unable it makes them anxious.

Our children have different personalities. They can never be the same, each child is just unique and precious. One may be more calm while the other is too active. It is possible to compare these different characters and show preference.

Parents can Practise This

  • Make time to make each child feel your presence.
  • Keep your promises to all your children.
  • When giving compliments, the others are listening. Compliment each of them on what they do so well.
  • Develop a strong relationship with all your children and you realise they all compliment each other.

I always imagine that i am sowing seeds every day into our children’s lives. The words are seeds unto their lives, we are speaking unto their future. This is so important that is why we are mindful to whom we expose our children to.

The words we speak to our children’s lives are seeds we are sowing whether they are good seeds or bad seeds and we will reap one day. Let us be intentional of where they walk and how we relate to our children.

Let us sow good seeds and let the harvest be pleasing unto God as we usher them unto their purpose on earth.

Wrapped in love,

Futhi Mkhwanazi

Meal Times Are Family fun times!

Look i get it, i am raising 3 children with my husband that are of ages 8, 5 and 3 years. Better part our lives are filled with chaos from random screams to sibling fights. My house has a lot of noise and a bit of a chaotic mess.

I often say there are days when i really feel like i have it all under control and then there are days when i completely do not feel i have anything under control. A lot of times that is when you often hear people saying “those are the joys of motherhood”

What i am saying is i know how it feels like to feel like you are chasing after time constantly like a viscous venomous endless cycle, to question yourself as a parent with the guilt you feel for not being able to balance well between work and family life. Never really achieving quality time with your family, the one that you desire.

I completely understand so i want us to look ahead to beginning a new season with something attainable to look forward to.

Have you ever written on your goals journal

  1. I want to be a great mom
  2. I want a happy family
  3. I want to be a calmer parent
  4. I want to have the best marriage

Lets us look into a more attainable or measurable goal.

Starting with ;

Meal Times

Did you know meal times can be one of your families most favourite times together. Meals bring people together and it is a great way to unwind over a good meal after a long day.

A simple family meal is always special.

The past weekend my husband and i decided to take our children for lunch out and  swimming. We are quite the adventurous crew, we love the mountains and forests so that we can get acquainted with nature and to be quite honest we enjoy the less crowded areas most of the times. Ironically we forgot just how busy everywhere is during holidays are.

We had decided to to take the children for swimming and when we got to this place we found it so crowded with many birthday parties going on yet it is one of the most quiet places we love. So we still wanted the pool area, we thought maybe it was less busy around the pool. As ironic as the thought was, the pool was more full.

I enquired at the reception about accommodating us for the afternoon. The staff, always so friendly insisted we could stay and use the restaurant. However we have adventurous children who really love the outdoors too more now as they grow up.

Knowing my husband’s reaction too whom i had left in the car with our children (Our eldest awake and our girls asleep) i told the lady assisting me we would come back another time.

We did just that, left the area and went for a drive through and decided to get meals. The children wanted some fries and we wanted Kentucky Fried Chicken for the day.

Tips for creating family meal time traditions

I always look forward to our family meal times everyday. My family manages to share meal time during supper because our mornings are quite hectic ( mommy is still working on that)

Cook Once For twice

When i get home after work, that is when i start cooking meals for my household.

Earlier this year i reviewed my routines because I was constantly tired. I used my mornings to excersize, blog and cook all meals for the day. I would also pack lunches to make my nanny’s work easier during the day.

I must say that was really tough after sometime i resented doing that to myself.

So now i cook after work and i cook two meals once by cooking in bigger pots. I use the left overs for our lunch for the next day.

I do not want to exhaust myself cooking twice a day or more and not find time to relax and sit with my family.

Set a meal routine for each day

Our families are different and the time we afford are not the same. This will just work as a guide to help you make your own routines that works for your unique family. Each family is unique. Pick the same time that works for you even if its once a week its still family time and that is very important.

Involve The Children

Let everyone help with setting the table and fetching food from the kitchen to the dining room. Children love to help and to be acknowledged for their help.

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Household Chores For Your Children And Involving Them

You will not only bond but you will all look forward to family meal times.

Switch Off The TV and Other Gadgets

Have you ever set out to have quality time and then ended up scrolling on your feed on social media? It takes away your presence and does not count with your time spent with your family.

Equally the TV can be destructive when having a conversation. It is destructive to children who also get used to eating while watching TV.

Use time for family talks and planning

You think you do not have time,  then use this family time to get to know each other and find out how your children’s day was. You can use this time to plan ahead for family vacations, schedules, routines, teachings and correcting certain behaviours gentle.

I trust this will be helpful to you and your family.

Wrapped in Love,

Futhi Mkhwanazi

Moms Indulgences And Hobbies after having a baby!

I do not know what you like, but i do know you have interests too. I would like to help you transition from your post partum journey of completely focusing on your baby to simply taking time away even if its an hour to rekindle your passions. This will make you a better mom because you will live with so much passion.

This comes from a mom who suppressed herself so much from her own passions.

The worst thing a mom can do to herself is deprive herself from living and doing just that one thing that makes her look forward to waking up and pursuing something. As your children grow you will notice the need to reconnect with yourself more.

Have you ever felt guilty for spending the whole afternoon away from your children or simply sitting on the couch just watching a movie?

I used to do everything and i was the perfect homemaker but I was constantly unhappy because i centred everything around my children forgetting to take care of myself and i did not even buy myself a cute gym outfit as i maintained consistency at the gym to make a simple example.

Confessions of the super mom!

I lived through this year having the goal to be the super mom. I wanted to have everything under control, at home, at work, business, blogging, you tube. I imagined taking all the field trips we had planned to take for our Homeschooled! Children.

Many times we get so focused on our roles as moms which is good but balancing everything in life is better because you do not deprive yourself neither do you deprive your family from what they need to live their best too. A happier mom makes a wonderful home.

Apart from striving to be an excellent mom i hoped to listen to the urges i have within me and to pursue the things that i love so i can find fulfilment too in what makes my heart dance.

Guess what! I can never be a super mom because i need help, of course there are days where we really feel we have it all under control as moms until a day comes where you have nothing under control, you miss schedules, your toddler throws endless tantrums, the house is messy and it humbles you as a parent.

Then you remember no one is perfect but we all try to do our best. If you can continuously aim for doing your best with each moment as a parent then what i will have at the end of the day is the best mommy for our children.

Suppressing hobbies and Indulgencies

We live our lives daily with pressures we have allowed and expectations of how a mom should be. We get so crowded with such information and we live up to it most of the time without realising.

Let me speak about myself as a mom that countless times i have suppressed my love for fashion, makeup, travel, food and i have found myself suppressing especially the ones that appear selfish.

The reason i use the word selfish is because we always assume that a mom should not consider much about her own hobbies, dreams and visions but only take care of her children’s needs.

There are things that you absolutely love that keep lingering in your heart. I relate so well to this because i have had all three babies cry at the same time and all you think of with that little time that you afford you desire to recover from the toddler drama you had.

Transition From Post Partum nursing to the cool mom

Due to lack of words let us use the words cool mom today! The process of giving birth is not an easy one and bouncing back to normal after a baby is far from easy as much as it is one of the most beautiful times of one’s life.

Stop feeling guilty for being away from your baby.

That short space of time to yourself is good for you and your child/ children. This becomes easier if you work fulltime and you will eventually return to work because it forces you to learn to leave the baby for a few hours.

This does not become easier with the more children that you have though. It can be challenging at first.

Giving time to yourself can help you regain your identity as an individual because you may have focused on the baby and completely forgot to rediscover your interests and feel connected to the environment.

Make Time

Take each time you can find during the day to work on yourself as a mom. There is more that makes a moms character and personality than being a homemaker.

If you can find ten minutes in your schedule to do take care of yourself as a mom, then do so. If you love art, spend that 10 minutes perfecting your art skills.

I love make up and fashion so i literally practise whenever i am inspired after work. I just get home, change my clothes and start doing a makeup style i recently saw. Then i can go do my cooking and after supper i can wash it all off.

Clothing Trends

Everyone loves a specific way they adorn themselves. I watch how my girls love playing dress up and imitate me. It is so adorable and i too have a role to play in this. I can bring them little gifts of pretty dresses and cute accessories from time to time.

They are growing too as they watch us as parents.

They will learn more about themselves and their preferences. As they watch you as a role model they are inspired to be creative too.

When you shop for your children’s clothes include yourself because it is too easy to neglect yourself yet mommy has to look presentable alongside her children

Your old photos

Images tell a story and most of the time i use them as an inspiration for my blog posts. This is because a picture tells a story and this can remind you a lot of the things that interest you. This is a fresh way of reminding yourself of what mom likes.

It may happen that you look at your old photos and wonder what happened to you but we are always growing and changing as beings so remember not to be too hard on yourself.

Proceed with your self care routine

Self care is more than taking care of your morning and night time routine but it is actually filling your own cup so you can fill your children’s cups too.

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Self Care Is More Than Just A Beauty Routine

The Post Partum Body!

Inspired by antique pieces

I have heard countless women that i know who have gorgeous antique pieces of art and quality clothing from their parents.

I am reminded of how much i loved watching my mom dress up and look really good.

Other Moms

Sometimes it may take finding inspiration from other moms who have travelled this hood before you. Sometimes its younger mothers than you but you just learn so much from them.

Use the holiday season to remember your dreams and aspirations

For most people this season is the most relaxed season and you can use the time you have to reflect on things that you have put aside yet you love and work on reviving that because that is how you are fulfilled. This is by pursuing the things God has laid in your heart.

Revisit your goals!

You wrote them somewhere and there are many reasons we decide to put the things we should be pursuing aside.

Some moms just bounce back to their lives after having a baby yet some of us it takes us a lot of adjusting here and there to feel more of ourselves again. You may be that mom or the mom finds it challenging to transition after giving birth. Life has changed for sure but children do grow and as they grow things become easier as they express their independence too.

Let me know what has made your post partum journey much easier and what you look towards to the most if you are expecting!

Wrapped With Love!

Futhi Mkhwanazi

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