11 Most Important And Uncommon Parenting Lessons You Need Today

You would think being a mother comes with all the instincts you will get it right away. There is a lot of learning to do, a lot of mistakes, a lot of trial and error but you stay committed to the journey because of the love you have for your children.

Sometimes you will realize that you keep learning the same things over and over again. Some of the major things you keep learning many times before grasping eventually is mastering what could be possibly making the baby cry. ( new baby)

You will find many times it is;

• A nappy change
• Hunger
• Tiredness
• Being sleepy
• Discomforts whether tight clothes

As the children grow it is much easier to communicate with them, however much work still needs to be done. There are more lessons for the parent to keep learning and one thing I can say is you can never stop learning.

Now that you think you have mastered your routines, here are some lessons i keep learning over and over again ever since i became a parent. Please read on and take some lessons too that could benefit you in some areas.

Check On Your Children

It is easier said than done and I notice my self-doing this less often than I actually should. We always get caught up in the week or depending how busy you always are. However it is good to remember the things that are important to you and make time for them.

One thing I keep learning about over and over again is that when your time never seems enough it means you may have to remove something from your schedule and make time or prioritize the things that are most important like time with your children.

Things to Check From time To time

• Internet Surfing; this is very important to check concerning your children and may be overlooked. We take time to teach our children what is good for them, good manners, the word of God and we know what they spend most of their time on really takes root in their lives. It is good to check on what your children are watching on the internet. Recently my daughters have been fighting a lot and without doing it intentionally I decided to spend time watching with my daughter what she was watching on the internet. I realized she was watching two sisters who dislike each other and are always competing with each other.

That explained a lot why my daughters were not getting along recently. It is important we protect our children from such exposure and other things that may make them vulnerable to unpleasant age inappropriate things. Sometimes it is simply things that go against your value, beliefs and teachings at home.

• Well Being; how well are your children doing? Physically, emotionally and mentally. We can miss this when we are occupied with other things. If there can be moments of calm during the week then use them to allow yourself to sit with your children and have a conversation. This will help you connect with your children and you will be able to pick some things that may be of concern.

Learn to create time for your children, i am not talking about just sitting in front of the TV and be totally unaware of each other. I am talking about actually having meaningful conversations with each other.

Schedule it! Yes it is that important, make time for it.

1. Pick a day
2. Create the hour/ Put aside time
3. Have an engaging activity that requires each others presence.

I like meal times for families to utilize this every day or as often as possible as they are able with the TV, laptops and cellphones off and just come together, eat and talk to each other.

Related Post!

Meal Times Are Family Fun Times

• Nutrition; Plan for family meals, even during the day when you are at work planned healthy meals will ensure your children are eating healthy meals. Train them to eat real cooked food, fruits and vegetables. Let snacks and yogurt be just that, a snack but may they not be dependent on these snacks either.

• Hydration; Water is healthy and on this blog we encourage families to drink plenty of water. It keeps the body hydrated and your appetite levels are kept normal. Train your nanny to give the children water during the day, remind her if necessary and let your children be used to drinking water more than juices which may reduce their appetite.

• Sleep; Sleeping is good for the body and children who do not get enough sleep are always fussy because they are tired. Even as adults we are hardly able to listen to our body when it lacks enough sleep, how much more a child? So the best thing to do is to ensure they sleep well at night and if this is a challenge, training them may be important.

Related Post!

Training Your Children To Sleep Through The Night

Nanny Diaries; let us make it a habit as children to check on our children and how they relate with their nanny. It affects their well being more than we realize. Sometimes children will openly tell you that their nanny shouts a lot, do not ignore but address it with the nanny and the children too so your children learn good manners too. However the nanny has no right to ill-treat the children either.

Sleep Well As a Parent

You know they say if you do not learn something it keeps coming back to your experience over and over again until you learn the lesson. I have learnt how important it is to sleep well but kept repeating the same mistakes of sleeping only 4 hours yet I have a full time job that needs all my concentration.

What keeps me up is actually running the blog and actually posting twice a week. For the longest time I could not look into the possibility of posting less like once a week to stay creative, be a happy wife and mom, and to be alert at work.

It is really great being consistent but consistency is not necessarily everyday but its following a scheduled time even if its once a week.

Taking care of yourself as a parent is really good for you for many reasons;

• Improves your mood
• Concentration
• Eliminates unnecessary complaining
• Improves the immune system
• Improves relationships
• Improves Intimacy at home

Learn to treat yourself well and know that your well being and peace matters for your entire wellness and the wellness of those around you.

Allow Yourself to Make Mistakes

• You Are Not Perfect

You are not perfect and we have to grow to accept that so we do not keep living in guilt the better part of our parenthood. As a parent you may regret some decisions, yell unnecessarily but you keep learning and correcting the mistakes by not repeating them.

• Ask for Help

Learn to ask for help.

In areas that you do not know or where someone has walked the path before you, simply learn to ask for advice or help. My husband and I wanted to learn to prioritize family time despite running a business. We approached someone we admire who has been running a successful family business for years and always made time for her family.

What we learnt from her we live by and apply it in our marriage and the way we make time for our children. Some of these lessons I write about on the blog like meal times, prayer times and time for each other as husband and wife.

Allow Yourself to Have Fun

Have as much fun as you possibly can in life. This is very important for your well being. This will assist you to bounce back in challenging seasons because you make the most of fun times.

Build up on fun moments with your spouse and with your children. When you are challenged you always have these good memories that trigger your subconscious’ knowing that when a different season comes, you will have the most fun. This makes the whole family living much easier and not hard work. We avoid hard work sometimes so let family life be fun and joyful.

Stop holding back on what you enjoy;

These may include;

1. Hobbies
2. Interests
3. Dreams, this is what you desire to fulfill within you. When in doubt look at what you enjoy doing effortlessly and live each day pursuing your dreams even if its 30 minutes a day.

Fill Your Cup

Do what you can to improve your mental health, to maintain a healthy spiritual life and to keep growing in your journey. There is a verse that says, “If you faint in the day of adversity, how small is your strength?”

It is important to fill your cup! Some call it self-care, self-love and you can decide to call it what you desire. Take good care of yourself especially now that there are little humans that you are raising.

Examples;

1. Reading the Word of God
2. Prayer
3. Being in nature
4. Meditating
5. Ruminating
6. Reading books
7. Spa day

Create Time for Family Time

I have heard the excuses several times how little time we have. Yes it depends on what you do with your time. Make time for the things that matter to you. Let us go back a bit and see where you spend your money and time. Does it really reflect what you value and prioritize?

Yes!

You do not have to attend every event, and every call. Sometimes you have to learn to switch off your cellphone when you get home to be better present for your family. Such habits seem less significant yet they build up overtime and create a united family further building good esteem in children or an unstructured family life.

Evaluate your value, beliefs on family and how you desire your family ti be structured. See what is no and if you are aligned with those values. Check on how you spend time daily and your money. this will guide you.

Reduce Tasks and Simplify Life

Some things are priceless to lose like time with your family. If you find yourself hardly coping from day to day with all the tasks you have it may be time to reduce your tasks and focus on the most crucial ones. If you have your own hobbies and dreams yet you work full time. You may consider allocating a day or two so you can focus on those dreams and let the other days be for other tasks or simply resting.

If social media drains you, have completely social media free days and allow yourself to unwind.

“Remember that burn out is real! If you have too much on your plate, reduce some things that are not important or give them time when important tasks are taken care of. However what I know is that you need to prioritize your rest time too. It is more important than we realize.“

If you work full time and desire to rest, consider taking your annual leave days. When you feel tired, stop pushing and listen to your body.

Worry not

We really bombard ourselves with so much worrying and distractions that are unnecessary.

Stop worrying about everything, this is what keeps us drained and lacking energy better part of our lives. All things will fall into place when you show up and God will bless the work of your hands.

Worry keeps you up at night, gives you false evident. Let us practice focusing on good outcomes and enjoying each moment.

Stop Rushing

This has been my biggest weakness. People who know me know that I am always rushing and it’s not healthy and it automatically trains your subconscious mind to always be on panic mode. Your body learns to panic all by itself without any triggers.

1. Stop rushing; do what you can and give it your all. Slow down and allow yourself to enjoy moments whether you are at work and even when you are at home. If you rush from waking up to bathing during the week, take it easy on some weekends and relax.
2. One task at a time; I know how cool it looks to multi task but focusing on one task and finishing helps you give a 100% focus on one task and then move on to the next.

Drink Water

I keep emphasizing about this because it is the best thing you really do for your body. There are certain discomforts you will feel in your body when you hardly ever drink water making you feel so uncomfortable.

When you drink water, your energy levels are controlled throughout the day and feeling sluggish is normally far from you.

I must add that it keeps your body and face really looking healthy. Who does not want to be a parent but still enjoy looking good?

Pay yourself first

What is that one thing that could totally make your month better when you plan for it? Maybe what is really draining you is you pay your bills last and you always find yourself in arrears with payments?

Learn to prioritize your bills and reduce many financial obligations so you can enjoy your earnings too and get your hair done, go on holiday, enjoy breakfast out. Stop suppressing the things that you naturally feel drawn to do like your hair and nails. Most importantly you know the needs of your household and how you budget for everything.

There are ways to have more cash flow by reducing financial obligations in a month.

1. Pay Cash (avoid hire purchase, credit cards)
2. Consider thrifting
3. Buy groceries at a wholesale shop

This post has been so much fun because these are important lessons that seem so small but contribute a whole lot more to our contentment and fulfillment in our parenting roles. More importantly i trust this has been so beneficial for you.

Wrapped In Love,

Futhi Mkhwanazi