If you have ever waited for your returning nanny to arrive while you anticipate getting to work you know how stressful it can be. Or you could well just be a new mom and looking for a nanny for the first time. It is a nerve wrecking experience to know that more people will be in your house.
I have had several moments of anxiety when it came to finding a good nanny and actually keeping one. I have noticed that when there was a new baby in the house most of my nannies would find it hard to cope making excuses for not making it to work. Eventually they would quit unless you find someone who loves children and is quite patient with children.
As a working mom i cannot afford to have excuses several times at work about my nanny not showing up. Often times my husband who runs our heating and cooling business fulltime had to take the day off unplanned to watch the children and it affected the company a lot because we had to cancel our appointments.
What does it take to find a good nanny? Is there a formula?
I do not have a formula neither do i have a sure idea what it takes to find a good nanny. However i have tips on finding a new nanny that we hope can be the good nanny!
After paying maternity leave for my good nanny i realised just how helpful it is to have two nannies, one can be on standby using their help on saturdays!
Why? This helps provide a part time job for someone who needs the income.
This will help you rest on saturdays if you have a demanding job during the week so you can be a happy parent!
When your fulltime nanny has a major commitment or a need for an annual leave you are able to give her days off because there is another who knows your children well and knows how to help in your house already.
This helps you to be prepared, if your finances allow or just adjust them to allow you so you have less stressful days knowing you have a contingency plan.
This creates harmony with your bosses at work because you will always show up at work unless its a pressing matter and each company knows people who hardly make excuses for showing up at work.
If you run a company, you will not keep rescheduling appointments because you have plan B.
So if you are new at parenting, this is for you too and other parents who have been around. Hey you never stop learning!
Your journey starts here!
Depending on your plans with your spouse you may want to get a nanny before you give birth so you can you have the help during the day when your spouse is at work.
This will help you to be able to run errands without much pressure too.
The nanny will know the baby before you return to work and you can practise leaving your baby so the transition becomes easier by the time you return to work. I must say when we had our first baby i was worried that my nanny would have more bonding time with my baby i did not want that!
If your nanny enjoys the baby, its a blessing however learn to do some things for baby when you are around so you do not feel left out. For example my husband and i bathed our children by ourselves from birth till now.
It meant we woke up earlier though! It was worth it, however do not put pressure on yourself to avoid being a grumpy parent. Have your own sacred things with baby but if you need help that day do not hesitate to ask for help.
You can have alone time with your spouse which is important too but what is more helpful is doing things for baby together. That is a family, you are vulnerable to each other.
The recruiting process
The first stage
There was a time i changed helpers so much because we could not find a good one to replace the one we had. It can be so stressful, we had our share of nanny diaries. This is what i have learnt!
- Talk to people you know from work, church and relatives for recommendations.
- Once you get contact details, call and request for an interview so you can know the person before you bring them to interact with your children.
- Explain to your children about the new nanny and allow them some time to get to know your help. Considee taking a day or two off work so they can know her while you are around to help ease the transition.
- Be patient and caring, remember they are new. Give them time to adjust too and just be the rare kind boss who pays well too timely.
The second stage
- Explain how you do things in your house and have an induction process where you simply explain your expectations. What she does, what time she arrives at work, knock off time, feeding times, baby naps, cleaning and laundry. You know your needs better. Engage her too in the conversation if she can handle the work with less pressure. You may have a new born, go easy on the tasks. However emphasise on baby’s needs more.
- By this time you should have discussed her salary, its very important.
- Take her through the instructions and what tasks she is expected to carry out. Sometimes repeat because its all new for her.
- By this time you understand her body language, if she can be around your children for long. Use wisdom in communicating your concerns.
The third stage
This stage applies if you eventually decide to hire her. I have noted that we take any help that comes along without the interview even if the body language is not good for someone to trust with your children. I did that too when i had to hire someone fast, it worked against me.
- Monitor progress in your household.
- Monitor your children’s progress ( notice that children have a sudden change in behaviours under stressful situations) do not ignore such.
- Monitor the energy in your house, if you feel relieved or more stressed. Take note of such feelings and tackle them with God’s wisdom.
- Communicate what can be improved, mind how you say it and pay attention to your body language and her body language too. It will guide you on future decisions.
Other things worth noting
What often frightens you the most about getting a new nanny?
One of the major things i have learnt is when you are not satisfied with the way the nanny does things, learn to have a way to speak that does not push blame.
Why?
Younger children are helpless and you will leave them with your nanny so it will teach you to have a good relationship with her, maintain boundaries but know it is important that she is happy about her job.
Maintain a good relationship with your nanny
- Find out what makes her job easier. Does she have all available material for her to do her job well.
- Work on her time off. We all need rest, if you are able to take a long leave, you might as well include her. Find a day or two so she rests too. Consider her maternity pay too in your diary if she is expecting too.
- Pray for her and her family. She takes care of your children.
- When she has passed through her probation period, ask around for a standard pay for a nanny. Then offer a competitive salary and yearly increments too.
Please feel free to share your experiences too and how your nanny diary is on the comments section? Or Email me privately if you desire so at allthingsgodlypretty@gmail.com
What are some of the major questions about parenting you often ponder about? Please forward them maybe i may have passed through moments like that and i would love to assist you on your journey of being a mom. I continue to learn from other moms too.
Wrapped in love,
Futhi Mkhwanazi
All Things Godly and Pretty 