As we start the week there are so many things that demand our attention. Until we find balance we may not be able to enjoy best of both worlds being our career pursuits and our life at home.
But why does it matter so much?
It matters that you have the satisfaction that you were able to be there for your family while giving your best to your career too. If you are a stay at home parent, it is a bigger and more demanding role that you play because you are there for your children with no break. This post is for you too, i applaud the work you do!
When we have not been able to focus well on all our roles we get that feeling that something is missing or broken and it can really weigh us down.
However instead of allowing this feeling to go on unattended, let us face it head on and see what we can enjoy with our families despite our busy schedules.
You can either continue to feel overwhelmed or plan to handle your life better so you do not feel like you are really drowning between your roles when it should be an enjoying season.
You will not enjoy luxury time like one who does not have children yet. Understand that you will have to be wise with your time and some days put off some things to build a lifelong relationship with your family.
If we all have 24 hours, it means as a spouse, parent yours is shared with your family.
[ ] Make Your Family A Priority
It is very easy to lose sight of what is important in your life when you think you have all the time to correct things.
We see the things we value by where we spend our time and our money. This can be a great time to evaluate your priorities to see if you still give your family time.
Of course your schedule may be tight, but when you are at home learn to be at home. Give yourself time with the people that matter to you.
You can be home but if you spend so much time on your cellphone it means you are not present.
Practise leaving your cellphone in another room for some minutes so you fufil your role at home too.
[ ] Create Time ( deliberately)
Now that you have an idea of your priorities and if spending time with your family had taken a back seat it means you merely wish you could spend time with them but do not monitor how you spend your time.
Learn to align yourself consistently
Time lost can never be regained and most of the time we are not able to trace this time beause we numb ourselves with soap operas, social media or whatever we spend a lot of our time on.
Track your time
I love to keep track of time with digital wellbeing and parental controls on my smart phone which helps me know how much time i spend on each app and cuts me off when i exceed the time i have set for myself.
No matter how busy you are, you can afford 10 minutes of focusing on your spouse and children with no gadgets.
It may not be everyday but have your non negotiable days of focus on the family. This means anything that comes up besides family you have not planned can wait. Really, it can wait. Unless its an emergency.
[ ] Family Rituals (non negotiable)
Are you always a busy parent? No need to stress about it, create a time everyday or a day during the week that is special to you and your family.
Family Ritual Ideas
1. Meal times
2. Bible study
3. Prayer time
4. Tea time
What is that thing that you could all enjoy as a family that you all enjoy?
Schedule it after work and let be what brings you together as one.
Each family’s special fun family routine will differ.
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[ ] Share A House Chore
A family that cooks together stays together.
Well thats me saying that and it is not necessarily cooking that keeps you together. It is the good memories that you create together that makes each and everyone of you look forward to spending time together.
So whether its preparing dinner or preparing to start the fire together or run water to prepare for bath time. Nothing says family than actually preparing things together.
When our children were much younger we would always look forward to bathing them after work. We would prepare for their bath time together with my husband and to the children it was so special because they are bathed by their parents.
This was the time we enjoyed the most everyday and we would relax after a long day feeling good.
Choose a chore you can enjoy together. Maybe it is gardening for your family but let the children join in.
[ ] Enjoy Their hobbies
Take an interest in each others hobbies especially the children’s hobbies. They are still getting to know who they are and enjoy that you validate their abilities and hobbies.
Be genuinely interested to watch that dance your girl child is showing you.
It can easily slip your mind to check on your children concerning such subject matters, however you can pick a day in a week for that.
Check on their homeworks, maybe they struggle with a subject and you would never know until you help tgem with their work. They may excel in a certain subject and what better way for you to support them by knowing and supporting what they are naturally good at.
[ ] Take An Interest in The Lonely Child
Children have different personalities and characters at home. If you are not aware a child may not be taken notice of for a very long time. They may be too quiet or the other children’s personalities are more free and can take up all your time and attention.
I tried to be diplomatic here. When your child is not the most attention catching one does not mean they do not need your attention.
My home is dominated by our girls and normally my son will just enjoy his worship music and hardly has alone time with mom or dad.
Call the child to join you when doing some gardening, ask them to hand you some vegetables shen you cook and better yet take an interest in their passions.
The eldest children normally are the ones who are given less attention. It happens and its part of growing however let it not build a wall on your relationship where they assume they are loved less.
[ ] Laugh together
Enjoy a good laugh with your children at home.
This takes us back to the previous points, find something you enjoy as a family and have a good laugh together.
Maybe movie nights are your thing, enjoy a good comedy together. This is spontaneous, showing that life does not have to be stiff but life is meant to be enjoyed together.
Maybe you are more adventourous and love hiking or mountain climbing. Then could be fun for you as you share fun stories on a picnic sight.
[ ] Relax and Be Content
Relax and enjoy being at home.
We carry the weight of our worries, our work or the pressures of life back at home.
This week i desire we learn to love ourselves well and we begin with being at peace with ourselves.
My children always tell me to calm down becauseci am not a nice mommy when i am grumpy
You got up, showed up and were productive but still beat yourself up for every mistake. Learn from the mistakes, do not obsess about them, accept where you are in life and know that tomorrow will always be better.
You will be at the right place and the right time for every opportunity. Life is big and cannot be summed in one season!
You will be okay and you are okay.
Proverbs 4:18
But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day.
Wrapped In Love,
Futhi Mkhwanazi
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