13 Common Mistakes Parents Can Correct Today!

Having more than one baby really challenged us but not as much as having our third baby. If you follow this blog you know that we had a challenge adjusting to having 3 babies in the house. This one really change the parent game for me and it was good as the blog was laid in my heart after i struggled staying sane while working full time and running my household 24 hours a day with 3 children.

Anxiety became the norm as from day one when a new born arrives, you keep improving one parenting method until you get better at it and moving on to the next stage of growth. This is a journey that takes a lifetime so we might as well always handle the different seasons better each time.

In today’s post we look at the common mistakes we make as parents as we juggle our different roles that we hardly find time or are rarely made aware of these loop holes that we can change or correct while our children are still young and as we evolve as parents.It is not easy to correct mistakes you are not made aware of, until something is brought to light then one can notice such gaps and work around learning new and better ways of doing things.

“It is not easy to correct mistakes you are not made aware of, until something is brought to light then one can notice such gaps and work around learning new and better ways of doing things.”

Let us look at some of the mistakes we make as parents and how we can correct them.

Neglecting Your Spouse!

I understand it is only natural to focus more on the children and they do need a lot of attention from the both of you. When i say neglecting your spouse, i do not just mean that as a wife you neglect your husband but i mean both husband and wife can neglect each other all in the name of focusing on the children.

The children do take a lot of your attention however take note not to allow this to drive you apart where you start focusing less on yourselves. This may be the right time to review your priorities, find out what is taking your time and start focusing on what you value the most.

Sometimes your value for your spouse may be affected from time to time by how you feel. Remember this is a commitment and how you feel is affected by your decisions. It may just be time to decide that you want to work on your marriage by committing to a life that focuses on working on your relationship daily.

It means you mind your mannerism, there way you talk to each other, doing something special for each other, taking care of one another and if pressure with house chores and taking care of the children puts you in a bad mood. It may be the time to navigate how to be calm amidst all the chaos and finding balance while harmonizing your priorities, values and routines as a family.

It may help you to set boundaries as a team, know what times you can be available for your family and let no one disturb you.
Limit negative talk from your circles or that which you expose yourself to, be it media that does not speak well about marriage. Yes it matters like compound interest overtime it has major impact on how you view your own marriage. a point we shall look into.
Decide to stop ignoring your spouse today and if you know you want to have a great marriage it means you will work towards that by looking at your daily habits if they match your goals.

Related Post!

The Uncommon Route To Mom Sanity

Routines can feel boring from time to time but you realize when you have just had a baby or more than one baby that you need them. I would love you to check the above post if you have felt that routines are not really important and yet you find yourself drowning in the every day struggle of not being able to balance your life and bring harmony and peace in your home.

Lack Of Planning!

Planning your day to day lives helps reduce the stress of falling behind on everything to keep the family organized which helps create harmony and peace in the home environment.

One may be thinking what kind of planning do I really need because this is not a company but a home. Whether you run a business, work from home, work full time or you are a stay at home parent it is important to to plan your morning routine, day time and night time routines because it all contributes to how well your family will function.

From the time you wake up you will need to make such decisions; when you cook breakfast, when the family eats and when you leave the house. There are other things like organizing what comes first in your list so that you flow throughout the days.

Children have fears too and can be overwhelmed with changes. Creating well planned routines for them keeps them calm and less stressed. I trust by now you see just how much peace this can bring to your household. Imagine having to wake up with no planned routines and children throwing tantrums everyday because they are really stressed and overwhelmed with day to day changes. It will drive you insane and you will hardly ever enjoy your family and it may bring unnecessary tension in the whole family.

Planned Daily Routines Include;

Time to wake up and get ready (unless you do more then you may need to wake up an hour earlier)
bath times, meal times, school hours, screen times and nap times
House chores
Family times Including meal times and play times

Look at this short list and expand it the way your family operates. If you have a new born that wakes up as early as 5 Am your schedule may start around that time and it means your sleeping routines need to accommodate the fact that you wake up early, for example you may prepare to go to bed earlier daily.

Please make use of it and make it works for you!

Not Correcting Parenting Errors!

Look honey, we all make mistakes and the best thing is to learn from them. However repeating an error all the time no longer is a mistake and that is where the guilt really sets in for parents because when you have that lingering urge to correct something but you do not eats away at your conscience.

Let me make an example so that we are on the same page, if you have a challenge like me of shouting a lot at your children when you are under pressure. It may be time to look at just what puts you under pressure and to learn to be patient with yourself and with your children. I also have to make sure i do not allow many things that remain undone to pile up so i remain a happier mom.

It may happen that you notice a way of doing things that can make your family life better, do not ignore that call especially if it is strongly laid in your heart.

Lack Of Prioritizing!

We recently looked at evaluating our priorities and how to evaluate them. Setting your priorities straight will really assist to bring that flow in life so that you can work through your values by prioritizing them. I believe there is a reason we have ‘limited’ time so that we can use it well and put our values first by giving the preference according to the value it has in our lives.

When you have children you will realize that you may not be able to do everything and attend every event but you will need to pick the most important things that need your attention according to what you value.

Not allowing Your Spouse To Help!

It is normal to desire to be a super mom but it is not necessary because the children are growing and it means you and your spouse may be possibly growing apart as the children grow. As i mentioned earlier, a relationship is a growing thing and it needs to be fed and nurtured daily.

Allow and involve your spouse to help and it is only beautiful to do things together as a family. Sometimes we are affected by our environment and what we constantly hear. If a lot of people around you do not speak well about their spouse or about marriage it will most definitely affect you in the long run and it will show up in what you prioritize.

Learn to support each other and take care of each other by involving each other to raise a family and creating strong family bonds together. It is important to learn to be united, work together as a team such that even if you get on each others nerves remember you are playing for the same team.

Not Minding What Kind Of Influence You Expose Yourself to!

If you desire to be a mom that takes care of her household consistently then you cannot be consistently around people who do not really care about taking care of their families. This also goes for the people you follow on social media, learn to follow people that inspire you to be improve in your roles.

It may help to find people that speak your language and create an environment that is conducive for your values to thrive.

Not Setting Boundaries!

It may be challenging to set boundaries for yourself and your family especially when you run a business. However you can train yourself to set them and stay consistent, eventually people will know that after certain hours they will not be able to reach you.

I chose to reduce events i attend on weekends because i was tired of being guilty of leaving my children at home while i had been working all week. It did not make me feel good and i decided that until our children grow i would make it a point to dedicate weekends to them fully.

I am used to this and saying no comes easier now especially if i know the event will not serve me much.

Not Addressing Burn Out!

As you go through different seasons and times you may be burnt out from time to time. Sometimes we do not clearly know what is really burning us out and making us weary. However it may help to take time to yourself and figure out what may be draining you.

There are things you can check to see if they are not affecting you like

Lack of adequate sleep
Not eating well
You may be stuck in routines that no longer serve you
You may be emotionally drained
You are always in a rush and never slow down

All these can be addressed as you can work on healthier sleeping routines, track your routines and time yourself and see how you can master how long each activity takes. When it comes to your mental health i love to check with myself how i feel each time where i spend time or what i spend time on be it certain TV programmes or after scrolling on social media. When change comes it is not always easy to embrace it because it is easier to stick to a habit than doing something new and different.

“When change comes it is not always easy to embrace it because it is easier to stick to a habit than doing something new and different.”

It is important to take care of yourself instead of being in a rush all the time, slow down, put the cellphone down, take days off work, and rest.

Leaving Everything To Be Done By The Nanny!

I know many may frown at me for mentioning this but i mean well. This will serve you and your children. Every thing you decide to do can be changed and you can learn new ways of doing things.

Raising children means doing things for children, for as long as its possible doing things for your children like bathing them, feeding them, tucking them to bed, hugging them,checking on their homework and more. This may seem like too much work but it is possible to time block and allocate time and days when you can do these activities.

The nanny is not the parent, children need you to be present and to deliberately make time for them. It makes children so happy and even more so if you learn to get the a cup of water when they ask you to instead of calling the nanny to get them a cup of water they asked from you.

Different things may make you feel like you do not have enough time but looking at the list of your TV programmes each night and you may realize that you have plenty of time.

Put the cellphone down and just have off screen time, children need and appreciate that.
It is not every function that you really need to attend but choose wisely so you can be available for your family.
Learn to delegate only when necessary but most times cook for your children, play with them, teach them the word, skills and educate them, involve them in your life and enjoy them.

Procrastination

You allow housework and office work to pile up and you find yourself overwhelmed all the time because you do not do things at the time they have to be done. Taking time to rest is good however after resting let the routines continue and get things done.

When you procrastinate a lot you work under pressure all the time and that is unnecessary stress for you. I recently learnt that procrastination also has root causes and it may be time you tried to understand why you procrastinate the things that you do. It may be easier to address it that way and live a full life

Diets To lose Weight Fast!

Of course you will look good but will you be happy? I have tried diets and what i realized is that i was always hungry , tired and angry. I was angry because i was hungry and you ignore this because the goal is to quickly get into shape. You will lose weight eventually over time as you reduce your food intake bit by bit but monitor your hunger cues and if you are well nutritioned.

“I am learning that a healthy person needs good sleep, good nutrition, exercise, hydration and a positive outlook on life.“

As you take the time to exercise your body will eventually be toned and building muscle may help but take care of yourself holistically and not ignore your body when it complains of hunger and lack of enough sleep.

Allow your body to lose weight over a realistic period of time not to necessarily make you not take it seriously to get into shape but to be mindful not to harm your body. If you do no like the way you look when dressed up, find clothes that flatter your body and create a look that will make you feel confident and work especially on loving yourself where you are and allow change to come when the time is right.

Stopping Learning

You can never know enough, i am not suggesting that you tire yourself reading every mom blog or every parenting book but also know that information will flow to you when you need it. Make time to the bible, read articles, learn from those ahead of you and sometimes learn from younger people but be open to learning however as you learn remember your individuality and uniqueness.

As people grow in many areas, allow yourself to grow in parenting too, learn how to have self control, be patient and live your best even as you clean through the mess in your house made by your children.

As you learn and unlearn remember to hold fast to your values and beliefs because they are what makes you unique and you can serve others in those areas.

Let us all learn to look at the bigger picture of life as a whole, it is the whole journey of your life that matters and not just one moment, some may run fast others a bit slower for now but things may change and it becomes the other way round. Help others in their journey where God has blessed you with wisdom and knowledge and receive assistance from others too.

Which part of this list has been a meaningful lesson for you?

What looks easier to correct?

Wrapped In love,

Futhi Mkhwanazi