What Modern Parents Want Today!

A reliable Nanny
Financial Freedom
Vacations
Restaurants, lodges, hotels with game areas for children
Enough Time with the Children
Enough Time With Their Spouse
Spiritual fitness
Physical fitness
People to Give Them the space for Leisure
Non Judgmental Space

This past Sunday we drove around with my husband debating on a place where we could entertain our children and it was a bit challenging because as much as we knew some places that have games like swings, monkey bars, sandbox area, large area for running around and a swimming pool there may just be a few places that actually offer that.

One of the things that make you enjoy your outings as parents is when you know your children are comfortable and they are not screaming in discomfort and boredom to much of the discomforts of other guests present in the area of entertainment.

This made me think of so many things that could actually make the life of a parent much easier.

I would sign up for such any day REALLY!

I know so many of you relate because Parenting is not the easiest role but it is so worth it and absolutely beautiful.

There are so many things we desire could be perfect but let us work towards a place where we are okay with ourselves because we are aligned with our purpose and the dreams we have for our children as we raise them ( not necessarily making our dreams theirs but raising them there way we desire).

So I thought about some of the things that are major challenges for parents worldwide.

I am hoping as you look at this list and find yourself in it so that if there is an existing challenge for you then you can recognize it and then correct accordingly for your growth and peace as a family.

A RELIABLE NANNY

I do not know what parent would not pay more just to get one reliable nanny. What I know for sure now is that you have the knowing when you have an unreliable nanny and it’s one of the most uncomfortable feelings that are challenging to address.

Many parents know how it is to expect your nanny to show up but does not and you have to cancel your biggest clients’ appointment because you have to baby sit your children while you look for another nanny.

It is not a pretty picture and the thought of change makes it even more uncomfortable.

Having children who are toddlers and an infant is quite challenging and it actually scares many nannies away. So do not feel bad if you have more than one child and they are below 5, it is a challenge to find one nanny that can actually persevere even with a competitive salary.

However with the proper plan in place even for your nanny you can enjoy a peace of mind knowing that you have a reliable nanny and may require some investing too in a good paycheck, leave plan and other benefits you are able to offer.

So when this is covered you know you have one area you need not worry about at all. I hope these tips from a previous post will really help you as much as they did with my family.

FINANCIAL FREEDOM

One of the things you want to worry less about if not at all is money when you are raising children. It makes it to the top of my list because everywhere when people talk about having more children, there is always the debate about money.

“Children are so expensive, Children’s school fees are so high, I can only afford one child”

So people desire to know they have the capacity to provide for their children and provide really well.

I would love to say we do actually live in a time when information is so “freely” available now more than ever and so much education on financial freedom and growing your wealth.

Some of these habits will go against everything that has been programmed in your mind about money and give you the perception that you are actually capable of growing your wealth.

These are great news for parents and those who have been debating whether to continue to grow the family as yet.

VACATIONS (leisure)

Who does not love family getaways? This is where we get to just take leisure time and enjoy our time visiting places of interest with our families. I have observed a great number of families take an interest in vacations now more than ever.

This is something a few of our parents did while growing up and now more than ever parents in this generation know and appreciate the importance of taking time and going away for a while with your loved ones.

So let us be creative and not allow yourself to be limited.

You see someone you know on Instagram with their family on vacation in the Caribbean Islands. Well for one they have planned for it and you should know that you live fully with what is available to you right now.

If you need a break really, why not book somewhere locally and go enjoy a vacation in your home country or even in around Africa while you work on a trip abroad.

Live Life Fully where you are and your children learn so much from you as you celebrate life where you are and work on another experience in the future.

Be creative, look around you and learn to love your life.

Learn to take a break from work and spend time in your home, that can be leisure for you.

ENOUGH TIME WITH MY CHILDREN

The worst feeling a parent can ever have is to constantly feel guilty for not spending enough time with their children.

When your work full time you battle with yourself sometimes because when you get home you are tired and may be well unaware that you are pushing the children away because at the back of your mind you still carry worries from work back home.

Pushing children away is never intentional but you find you are always occupied even when what occupies your mind is not as important as giving them attention.

So this too if you have noticed often happens will not go away unless you recognize it and then correct it the best way you possibly can.

Our children are all young and at ages where they need our undivided attention and it can be challenging. So we realized that we had to figure out how we can make our children feel we are giving them attention daily.

One of the ways is actually make meal times family fun times where we sit around the table every night and have supper together with the TV off and keep other electronics away from the dinner table because any electronic can take away your attention and theirs too.

One time I felt so overwhelmed with work and with our children and still felt guilty, so one of my colleagues at work just told me to give them just 10- 15 minutes when I get home before I take off my uniform or start cooking.

“give them 10 minutes of your full attention or more if you can and just look at them, touch them, talk to them, notice them, love them and assure them of your love and then afterwards you can focus on cooking and they will be okay”

Helpful, HUH? Yes I loved that even though I forget to do so sometimes when I had a long day at work but you keep reviving it until it becomes a habit.

Please do not push them away to the nanny if you have a stay in nanny but bring them closer to you and get to know them like a best friend.

SPENDING ENOUGH TIME WITH YOUR SPOUSE

There more you have children, there more challenging it becomes to spend time and the more likely and easier it becomes for you to drift apart if you never take notice.

This is the most important relationship you have because it is the foundation of the home and you cannot create a healthy home if this relationship is neglected.

Sometimes you may not even notice that you are growing apart because so many demands are on you even for extended family members.

One of the things I disciplined myself with is actually putting certain things I loved on hold until the children grow and become more independent.

I literally weigh the benefits of attending a women’s seminar on weekends versus actually taking that time to connect with my husband even if its simply walking together around the block.

You choose when and how this will happen for you, however you cannot neglect your spouse throughout the week and try to connect on the weekend or on the vacation, it becomes hard because you have built on something that does not serve you or your marriage.

What has really helped us in our marriage is actually having non negotiable days where we spend time together and make no excuses. Some of the things we do is having breakfast dates on Saturdays, walking around the neighborhood, going for a jog together, watching a movie marathon, watching each of our favorite shows together or sometimes enjoying a cup of our filter coffee together.

You can even get the children to sleep earlier just to have your own time.

Remember to be kind to one another daily and this is a seed to your marriage because we naturally gravitate towards people who treat us well. When you do this daily you are creating a conducive environment for your marriage to flourish.

No one is an expert on this except for God and trusting Him to show you the direction.

We all work on our marriages because we want the best out of them and to live a fulfilled life, so remember to put your time aside, to be kind, put your phone away, give them a call, watch their show with them, pray together and be a team so you do not let a good thing get stale.

Work on your time, catch a movie together, spend a night away from home, enjoy some tea together after putting the children to bed and touch each other.

SPIRITUAL FITNESS

You desire to be spiritually fit for yourself, your children and for your family. One of the things you learn as a parent is how much you need God and you are dependent on him because you need guidance and for him to hold you together as a family.

Raising children is not easy, so when you take the weight off and put your trust in God then you know you really do not have to worry about anything.

However that is where spiritual fitness comes in because you cannot worship what you do not know and cannot trust what you do not know.

Grow yourself spiritually and work on your relationship with God because no one can have that relationship on your behalf, not even your spouse.

It is very personal, how comforting it is to know you can pray for you children with the knowing that your answers will come and the word is life, it spreads through the years and meets your children even years after you have sown in prayer for their lives.

PHYSICAL FITNESS

As parents we want to be physically fit, actually like anyone else desires to be so they can live well. You learn how important it is to take care of your health and to be physically fit so you can be better capable of taking care of your children and being available physically for them to enjoy you.

It becomes more than just for being present at home but at work too so you know you are actually being productive.

When I realized this I recognized how important it is for you to eat well because you know you are investing in your body that carries you. You learn to prioritize physical activity and to sleep well now amongst other things because you desire your body to be at an optimal level to heal itself and to be well holistically.

CREATE BOUNDARIES WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY

Trust me parents may not tell you this but they absolutely desire their space alone. They desire to be alone with their children (which is why it is important for them to have a plan for their nanny to take some time off whenever possible).

You will be surprised that the children also desire a space alone with their parents without the nanny, aunties, cousins and it is just them with the parents so they could get to know you better and you get to notice and know them better.

The husband and wife desire their time without any friends around so they have time to themselves too. The families need to learn to say ‘NO’ to other engagements because their time alone is really important too. It becomes more challenging as the children come to spend more time alone as a couple but you have to be aware together or sensitize each other of your needs.

At times you need to hold each other and just express yourselves freely with no other person in the room.

It requires that you learn to create the boundaries as a family and others will have to respect your word for it.

NON JUDGEMENTAL SPACE

How horrible is it to feel judged as a parent for your choices? And we do it all the time to each other and sometimes it surprisingly comes from people who have not started having children yet. Judging from what kind of schools they attend, what language they speak, if the father is too involved or even changes the baby’s nappy, feeds the baby or even stays home with them when the mother is at work becomes debatable.

Parents would love a safe space where they can actually be judged not and this kind of plague can happen in gatherings or church. For example when children throw a tantrum or that particular day the child is fussy, your parenting may be questionable to many yet we all have moments with our children that we are not able control as well as we always hoped.

Which is why you take it upon yourself not to judge other parents and offer to help whenever you find a parent struggling, instead of highlighting their uncomfortable moment you lend an advice or just a helping hand where you can and that contributes to a better community.

I trust this has been as helpful to you as it is to me.

Wrapped In Love

Futhi Mkhwanazi