10 Ways To Prepare Your Toddler For A New Baby

It seems like just yesterday when we were expecting our third baby and we already had a preschooler and toddler in the house. We most definitely needed a plan.

We adjusted the way we did things in our household while we were still expecting. This made the transition much easier with a gentle flow. It was not an easy one but we already trained ourselves to make changes before our baby arrived.

Some of the changes came when the a baby was already there because no matter how much you plan, things come up and you have to alter your plans in a way that propels you forward.

One of the major things we changed when the baby was 5 months old was choosing to have a stay out nanny. It means our nanny had to commute from home to work every day.

This is a decision we made because we were so inspired by a family that has been raised a way we admired so much.

Their children are grown ups now, working and at university. The way they have this bond as a family that is rare we loved it. So we decided no nanny would come between our bonding times with our children and ourselves as a married couple.

“The first thing we had to do was control how much time our nanny spent at work (our home)”

What is important to remember is that you only adopt advice that works for you as a family unit and whether it fits into your lifestyle, goals , dreams, beliefs and foundations.

I will get into details how such changes can be made to suite your unique family and gel into your family values and foundations.

PREPARE AHEAD FOR MEALS/ CREATE A PLAN

the arrival of a newborn while there is a toddler is not one of the easiest things to handle. you most definitely adjust but here we desire that you have a smooth adjustment to your role of being a parent to more than one child.

Have the entire plan from meal plans, cooking plans of how and when you will cook that and how often you will be making meals. It might help to consider cooking more and freezing the rest of the food so on days you really need the rest you can make use of those days.

We are all different and our demands are different. Some prefer their nanny to help with most of the cooking so that would be communicated with the nanny.

Forming a family schedule will help to keep emotions at bay especially for your toddlers because as long as their meals are ready on time they do not have a reason to throw a tantrum. Well sometimes you cannot avoid tantrums but when your children eat on time that is the very first way in winning more days on this forever journey.

The moment children eat late, it changes the temperament of your entire household. So avoid giving toddlers food later than usual by always being prepared for their meal times and knowing their hunger cues even for snacking and fruit times!

INVOLVE YOUR BABY!

Involving your children and acquainting them with the baby on the way makes them feel a part of the whole process. I know it may seem like a toddler does not perceive what is happening but they are more receptive and understand more than we realize. It may happen that your baby does not talk yet but involve the baby all the more.

I will explain later on how to help them articulate and understand what is going on in the family.

The way you and your husband bond together with the baby while pregnant, let the your toddler feel the kicks, look for baby things together and do things that they can interpret on their new sibling’s arrival.

BE CREATIVE!

This is something I realized recently which is that children are so visual. They are most especially visual and the more they use their senses is the more they understand what is happening in their lives.

Our children have been very inquisitive especially when they see their baby pictures and baby magazines. Their eyes light up when they see such pictures and it eases the tension around the topic. If your baby already talks she may express the view that she does not want a baby now.

Use creative images that express bonding between siblings and do it as consistently as possible so you do not ignore their feelings but address them as much as possible.

“Give them the assurance that their attention will not be neglected.”

They will get used to the idea of expecting their sibling’s arrival and note your baby may still feel jealous once the baby arrives. This will help you note just how much attention you give the other siblings when the baby arrives so you create a harmonious balance.

BE MINDFUL

When you are under a lot of pressure you may act out by yelling at older children. It hurts children because they still want to know if they are as special as you said they are.

My 5 year old pays a lot of attention how I relate with their sister, and because her younger sister still craves so much attention she notices how I speak with her, how often I kiss her and cuddle her in my arms. Watch not to get carried away because your toddler may notice every thing you do.

If it helps take note just how much you give each of them attention and it will not be the same as the new born demands more attention but as a parent you will know how to balance.

“The point is to be aware of such gaps that you will need to address as parents”

ADJUST YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!

Yes!

This is one of the most important things you can ever do as a parent. I believe it is easier to adjust that when your baby is a new born but as they grow up, you find more reasons to stay out of the house.

You often find that is why most parents hardly cope when they are not at work but home all day feeding, bathing and cooking for their children. Basically spending the whole day with their children becomes very stressful because they are not used to it.

With the arrival of a new born it is always best to accommodate them and make them a priority. An additional child means more expenses, you adjust your spending habits, it means you have to use your time wisely now so that all the children can enjoy time with you.

Consider narrowing down the events you attend on weekends or during the week if that is something you did. it is a season and they will grow and you will be grateful for the time you spent with them.

This will allow you to allocate more time to your older children and not one will feel left out and that is the goal. Use this time to create activities that will make the children feel loved and given attention. Something will will also discuss.

I have always desired a one on one with each of our 3 children but that has not been that possible so whenever the time avails itself I spend time with one child especially if one or two are taking their nap during the day.

What we learnt is to take an interest in their passions and let them express their gifts and talents. When a child tells you they love something, support them and nurture those gifts.

My journey to adjusting having new born in the house has not been the easiest. Most of my peers recently started having children and I have been married 11 years and have been a mom for 8 years now.

I wished my friendships turned out differently but I could not give my time that much and attend events as much as I did. I believe communicating really helps and let your friends know that most of your time is taken by caring and nurturing but you will return missed calls.

“I often felt lonely and left out but i only knew i had to spend time with my children, ofcourse i was not perfect and made mistakes having learnt from them now i am able to offer advice to other moms after myself”

You may find it challenging to even answer phone calls at times but one on the other end may not understand that. Be gentle and kind to explain such matters to your acquaintances and create a plan on how you can still make time for each other.

EXTRA HELP/ EXTRA HELP

Decide as a family if you will need extra help or you will cope with the changes that come with the arrival of a new born. Most times if your parents live close by they are always there to help with the baby and that allows you more time to rest after you come back from delivery.

Its not always family members that offer but it is whom you decide to choose with your partner.

One conversation to have is with your current nanny, there are additional chores to do you may consider such things a s a raise so that there is no assumptions of anything which can easily cause misunderstandings and a discord between you.

Whenever you hire a nanny you have agreements on what they are expected to do, it might help to go over that too.

One of the reason I committed myself to cooking everyday was to ensure that all the children get attention including my toddler and preschooler when I return to work after my maternity leave.

Understand the demands of a new born and your helper may be under pressure so if one thing is already done like food and snacks for the entire day, she will be able to cater the needs of your older children.

Look into such things so you do not ignorantly have high expectations of your nanny while your older children suffer neglect.

it is all a matter of planning and putting your mind to it!

So the one of the major reasons my husband and i decided on a stay out nanny ( a commuting nanny) is we wanted our toddler and preschooler to feel our bond as much as the new baby. This easily gets out of hand when a nanny is always around because you get tired and create a habit of having the nanny to do most or everything for the older children.

FINANCIAL PLAN

Now that you have decided on meal plans as you might need to spend more on food, you have decided on extra help so you do not neglect your toddlers, adjusting your social life also comes with benefits of cutting on expenditure so you can focus on the young ones.

Whenever we go shopping for clothes it means we spend three times more the bill for our children so keep that in mind. However there are many ways of doing things and if you find one way that is effective for your family, continue with it.

You may not want to cut off completely the little luxuries you afforded your toddler. Continue to spoil them while considering that now you are spending on diapers. Possibly you may be spending twice as much because your toddler may still be potty training.

“As the family grows look into the options of doing grocery shopping at a wholesale shop where you get everything in bulk”

CONSIDER BUYING A TWIN STROLLER!

Or spend on an item that will make your life easier whether you are in the house or going to the store with your children.

When our third baby arrived i knew we handled two children quite gracefully. However i was not sure about handling our third baby. This is because before our third baby’s arrival, when we were out of the house i would watch one and my husband watched the other.

If i was alone out with two children i could easily hold them side by side but now there were 3, how could we manage that?

We invested in two carriers we used at home and when we were out. It made us cope quite well with our three bundles of joy. I loved the back carrier whenever i cooked in the house because it meant my toddlers and husband would always have a warm home meal.

Your toddlers’ transition will be so smooth and you will most definitely enjoy mothering two or more young ones now.

HAVE OFF SCREEN EDUCATIONAL GAMES FOR TODDLERS

One thing we do a lot as parents is distract our children with a lot of television and gadgets. Yet the mind of a child is growing and developing as they watch the TV, they need time to play and use the energy they have as well.

Children need to get out as well and spend time outdoors in nature. Create a way for your toddlers play or get into creative activities like colouring, drawing, building blocks, play dough, puzzles and so much more.

Do not forget to limit screen time for your toddlers. I believe that setting an intention makes the bigger difference because it always brings you to an awareness whenever you need to correct something in your household.

Entertain Children Off Screen 11 Easiest Ways While You Work

Children And Gadgets!

CREATE TIME FOR YOUR TODDLER

It really does not have to be so complicated. It can simply be watching their favourite cartoons with them when its time for them to watch and just staying awake while you spend time with them.

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I hope you enjoyed this! Do you have a newborn on the way?

Or has the baby arrived already, how have you been able to cope with the changes in your home?

Wrapped In Love,

Futhi Mkhwanazi