All Things Godly and Pretty

11 Most Important And Uncommon Parenting Lessons You Need Today

You would think being a mother comes with all the instincts you will get it right away. There is a lot of learning to do, a lot of mistakes, a lot of trial and error but you stay committed to the journey because of the love you have for your children.

Sometimes you will realize that you keep learning the same things over and over again. Some of the major things you keep learning many times before grasping eventually is mastering what could be possibly making the baby cry. ( new baby)

You will find many times it is;

A nappy change
Hunger
Tiredness
Being sleepy
Discomforts whether tight clothes

As the children grow it is much easier to communicate with them, however much work still needs to be done. There are more lessons for the parent to keep learning and one thing I can say is you can never stop learning.

Now that you think you have mastered your routines, here are some lessons i keep learning over and over again ever since i became a parent. Please read on and take some lessons too that could benefit you in some areas.

Check On Your Children

It is easier said than done and I notice my self-doing this less often than I actually should. We always get caught up in the week or depending how busy you always are. However it is good to remember the things that are important to you and make time for them.

One thing I keep learning about over and over again is that when your time never seems enough it means you may have to remove something from your schedule and make time or prioritize the things that are most important like time with your children.

Things to Check From time To time

Internet Surfing; this is very important to check concerning your children and may be overlooked. We take time to teach our children what is good for them, good manners, the word of God and we know what they spend most of their time on really takes root in their lives. It is good to check on what your children are watching on the internet. Recently my daughters have been fighting a lot and without doing it intentionally I decided to spend time watching with my daughter what she was watching on the internet. I realized she was watching two sisters who dislike each other and are always competing with each other.

That explained a lot why my daughters were not getting along recently. It is important we protect our children from such exposure and other things that may make them vulnerable to unpleasant age inappropriate things. Sometimes it is simply things that go against your value, beliefs and teachings at home.

Well Being; how well are your children doing? Physically, emotionally and mentally. We can miss this when we are occupied with other things. If there can be moments of calm during the week then use them to allow yourself to sit with your children and have a conversation. This will help you connect with your children and you will be able to pick some things that may be of concern.

Learn to create time for your children, i am not talking about just sitting in front of the TV and be totally unaware of each other. I am talking about actually having meaningful conversations with each other.

Schedule it! Yes it is that important, make time for it.

Pick a day
Create the hour/ Put aside time
Have an engaging activity that requires each others presence.

I like meal times for families to utilize this every day or as often as possible as they are able with the TV, laptops and cellphones off and just come together, eat and talk to each other.

Related Post!

Meal Times Are Family Fun Times

Nutrition; Plan for family meals, even during the day when you are at work planned healthy meals will ensure your children are eating healthy meals. Train them to eat real cooked food, fruits and vegetables. Let snacks and yogurt be just that, a snack but may they not be dependent on these snacks either.

Hydration; Water is healthy and on this blog we encourage families to drink plenty of water. It keeps the body hydrated and your appetite levels are kept normal. Train your nanny to give the children water during the day, remind her if necessary and let your children be used to drinking water more than juices which may reduce their appetite.

Sleep; Sleeping is good for the body and children who do not get enough sleep are always fussy because they are tired. Even as adults we are hardly able to listen to our body when it lacks enough sleep, how much more a child? So the best thing to do is to ensure they sleep well at night and if this is a challenge, training them may be important.

Nanny Diaries; let us make it a habit as children to check on our children and how they relate with their nanny. It affects their well being more than we realize. Sometimes children will openly tell you that their nanny shouts a lot, do not ignore but address it with the nanny and the children too so your children learn good manners too. However the nanny has no right to ill-treat the children either.

Sleep Well As a Parent

You know they say if you do not learn something it keeps coming back to your experience over and over again until you learn the lesson. I have learnt how important it is to sleep well but kept repeating the same mistakes of sleeping only 4 hours yet I have a full time job that needs all my concentration.

What keeps me up is actually running the blog and actually posting twice a week. For the longest time I could not look into the possibility of posting less like once a week to stay creative, be a happy wife and mom, and to be alert at work.

It is really great being consistent but consistency is not necessarily everyday but its following a scheduled time even if its once a week.

Taking care of yourself as a parent is really good for you for many reasons;

Improves your mood
Concentration
Eliminates unnecessary complaining
Improves the immune system
Improves relationships
Improves Intimacy at home

Learn to treat yourself well and know that your well being and peace matters for your entire wellness and the wellness of those around you.

Allow Yourself to Make Mistakes

You Are Not Perfect

You are not perfect and we have to grow to accept that so we do not keep living in guilt the better part of our parenthood. As a parent you may regret some decisions, yell unnecessarily but you keep learning and correcting the mistakes by not repeating them.

Ask for Help

Learn to ask for help.

In areas that you do not know or where someone has walked the path before you, simply learn to ask for advice or help. My husband and I wanted to learn to prioritize family time despite running a business. We approached someone we admire who has been running a successful family business for years and always made time for her family.

What we learnt from her we live by and apply it in our marriage and the way we make time for our children. Some of these lessons I write about on the blog like meal times, prayer times and time for each other as husband and wife.

Allow Yourself to Have Fun

Have as much fun as you possibly can in life. This is very important for your well being. This will assist you to bounce back in challenging seasons because you make the most of fun times.

Build up on fun moments with your spouse and with your children. When you are challenged you always have these good memories that trigger your subconscious’ knowing that when a different season comes, you will have the most fun. This makes the whole family living much easier and not hard work. We avoid hard work sometimes so let family life be fun and joyful.

Stop holding back on what you enjoy;

These may include;

Hobbies
Interests
Dreams, this is what you desire to fulfill within you. When in doubt look at what you enjoy doing effortlessly and live each day pursuing your dreams even if its 30 minutes a day.

Fill Your Cup

Do what you can to improve your mental health, to maintain a healthy spiritual life and to keep growing in your journey. There is a verse that says, “If you faint in the day of adversity, how small is your strength?”

It is important to fill your cup! Some call it self-care, self-love and you can decide to call it what you desire. Take good care of yourself especially now that there are little humans that you are raising.

Examples;

Reading the Word of God
Prayer
Being in nature
Meditating
Ruminating
Reading books
Spa day

Create Time for Family Time

I have heard the excuses several times how little time we have. Yes it depends on what you do with your time. Make time for the things that matter to you. Let us go back a bit and see where you spend your money and time. Does it really reflect what you value and prioritize?

Yes!

You do not have to attend every event, and every call. Sometimes you have to learn to switch off your cellphone when you get home to be better present for your family. Such habits seem less significant yet they build up overtime and create a united family further building good esteem in children or an unstructured family life.

Evaluate your value, beliefs on family and how you desire your family ti be structured. See what is no and if you are aligned with those values. Check on how you spend time daily and your money. this will guide you.

Reduce Tasks and Simplify Life

Some things are priceless to lose like time with your family. If you find yourself hardly coping from day to day with all the tasks you have it may be time to reduce your tasks and focus on the most crucial ones. If you have your own hobbies and dreams yet you work full time. You may consider allocating a day or two so you can focus on those dreams and let the other days be for other tasks or simply resting.

If social media drains you, have completely social media free days and allow yourself to unwind.

“Remember that burn out is real! If you have too much on your plate, reduce some things that are not important or give them time when important tasks are taken care of. However what I know is that you need to prioritize your rest time too. It is more important than we realize.“

If you work full time and desire to rest, consider taking your annual leave days. When you feel tired, stop pushing and listen to your body.

Worry not

We really bombard ourselves with so much worrying and distractions that are unnecessary.

Stop worrying about everything, this is what keeps us drained and lacking energy better part of our lives. All things will fall into place when you show up and God will bless the work of your hands.

Worry keeps you up at night, gives you false evident. Let us practice focusing on good outcomes and enjoying each moment.

Stop Rushing

This has been my biggest weakness. People who know me know that I am always rushing and it’s not healthy and it automatically trains your subconscious mind to always be on panic mode. Your body learns to panic all by itself without any triggers.

Stop rushing; do what you can and give it your all. Slow down and allow yourself to enjoy moments whether you are at work and even when you are at home. If you rush from waking up to bathing during the week, take it easy on some weekends and relax.
One task at a time; I know how cool it looks to multi task but focusing on one task and finishing helps you give a 100% focus on one task and then move on to the next.

Drink Water

I keep emphasizing about this because it is the best thing you really do for your body. There are certain discomforts you will feel in your body when you hardly ever drink water making you feel so uncomfortable.

When you drink water, your energy levels are controlled throughout the day and feeling sluggish is normally far from you.

I must add that it keeps your body and face really looking healthy. Who does not want to be a parent but still enjoy looking good?

Pay yourself first

What is that one thing that could totally make your month better when you plan for it? Maybe what is really draining you is you pay your bills last and you always find yourself in arrears with payments?

Learn to prioritize your bills and reduce many financial obligations so you can enjoy your earnings too and get your hair done, go on holiday, enjoy breakfast out. Stop suppressing the things that you naturally feel drawn to do like your hair and nails. Most importantly you know the needs of your household and how you budget for everything.

There are ways to have more cash flow by reducing financial obligations in a month.

Pay Cash (avoid hire purchase, credit cards)
Consider thrifting
Buy groceries at a wholesale shop

This post has been so much fun because these are important lessons that seem so small but contribute a whole lot more to our contentment and fulfillment in our parenting roles. More importantly i trust this has been so beneficial for you.

Wrapped In Love,

Futhi Mkhwanazi

Be A Glamorous Mom in 20 Ways

We all know that being a mom comes with a lot of responsibility that you hardly ever find time for yourself. What I always encourage on this blog is for moms to create time for the things you love to do. These are the things that remind you are a woman and you do not ignore the urges that feel natural to celebrate and make time for.

Your time may not look the same like it did before having children but I do believe after adjusting and adopting a good routine then you will be able to create the time for the things you enjoy, for self-care, for reading, for prayer, for exercise, cooking healthy meals, for self-development, for sleeping well and what you do need from time to time.

I have come up with a list of things that totally make me feel so womanly and do not strip away my role of being a wife and a mother amongst many roles.

I know a lot of moms will relate so well because as much as we are moms there comes a time when we are ready to find ourselves as the children grow. You will most definitely go through many phases in this journey especially if you are a new mom.

At first you may likely feel as though you do not need to look a certain way because you are totally consumed and content with the role of being a mom but as your child grows you may realize you miss your old self again. That is really okay, there is time for everything and when you desire your old self again you will know and pursue that.

These phases may differ from woman to woman. However if you really miss your old self and are ready for an easy guide, you came at the right place. Let us get right into it.

Exfoliate Everything

One of the things I have come to love after giving birth is exfoliating my body daily. It makes the biggest difference and I have seen my marked skin heal as well as I stay consistent. I believe healing comes so easily to the skin as there is blood circulation. There are different ways to exfoliate the skin and for the body I love using the body brush as I bath or bathing gloves and for my face I love using a face scrub which makes a big difference to the skin.

I try to exfoliate my face no more than 3 times a week though as we are advised. After exfoliating keeping your skin hydrated is really good for the skin to regain moisture and heal the skin tissue to see visible results of a beautiful well taken care of skin.

“I absolutely love the silk skin this gives me!“

Coconut Oil

I do not know if there is anything that beats coconut oil but I love it so much and I recommend it for moms to use it too and have it. It is one natural oil that moisturizes the skin. You can literally use it on your skin after a bath and stay moist the entire day.

What is even better is it gives you the kind of skin texture a woman should have. It keeps the skin smooth and lovely to look at.

I love using it on the body and face too. If you struggle with dark circles under the eyes, use this as eye cream and it works wonders. So keep coconut oil in your cosmetic bag and you will be one happy girl.

Body Scrub

The same way a face scrub works for the face, a body scrub gently exfoliates dead skin cells on the body. This leaves the body feeling fresh and deeply clean. What I love about it is what you use is rubbed into the skin.

You can also make one for yourself to avoid spending a lot on these products (search for DIY body scrub you can simply make at home) and once a while you can spoil yourself to one. These are the small things that make a difference when it comes to a woman’s body.

Hydration

I refer to drinking water especially! I cannot emphasize how important this is. I notice how much we drink tea or other sugary drinks. I am not saying do not take these, enjoy them but never forget to drink water and detoxify the sugars we take in. This cleans up your system and you retain less water in your system.

When you drink water the body releases water to leave your body and new water to hydrate you. This works so well for your skin too so try this for a week but have a plan. When you plan for something, you follow through. I would advise you to have a bottle where you can keep water so you are likely to drink it.

This supports you as you keep your skin clear, as you exercise, stay healthy and fight fatigue.

Eats Fruits and Vegetables

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away” I am pretty sure they know the nutrients you get from one serving of an apple a day. You may not see any difference in a day or two but in a week or a month. The food you eat improve your well-being more than you can ever realize.

What you eat reflects in your energy and your sleeping patterns. This also reflects on your skin too.

Drink lemon Water

Lemon water detoxes your body and contains vitamin C which is good for your body. Not only that, but lemon water burns fat too. You can enjoy one bottle of lemon water a day and you can even stay hydrated. This will reflect on your entire skin.

Do Not Eat After 8 P.M.

I choose 8 because some moms commute to work and return home later than most of us. However if possible eat by 7 PM and drink water after that it is much healthier. This has really helped me to keep my mom belly smaller than it was getting.

In the past, i was exercising and eating well but really struggled with belly fat. It was not until I decided to eat light meals while having supper and then stop eating after that meal until breakfast the next morning. I have observed how much lighter I feel, I feel less fatigued and my belly is improving daily as I exercise.

Try this and you will love it, however I must say that it takes discipline. I must say that we often think we are hungry when we are actually thirsty, when an urge to eat comes you can drink water instead.

Exercise For 10 Minutes Consistently

Moving your body brings wellness to your body and improves your energy levels. Sometimes we aim to exercise 30 minutes to 40minutes a day yet sometimes with the time we have it may not be feasible or that. The best things to do is to create the time you are able to create, and work with that so you can be consistent. I have realized how beneficial it is to work out just for 10 minutes a day and stay consistent than to not work out at all.

You are able to tone your body and work the body you desire without making exercise so hard so you are likely to continue.

You will absolutely look great as your body moves and it rebuilds muscle for elasticity purposes too.

Sleeping Plan

Seriously though we all need a sleeping plan being sleep deprived can make your immune vulnerable to colds and flu. Set your timer for your sleep time if you have to and eliminate the things that keep you from actually going to bed earlier.

This improves your creativity, concentration and you are inspired to do things you love and actually have the energy for it. This brings life to your entire outlook in life and you beam with life.

Talk about an easy way to glam up!

Eat Well (No Skipping Meals)

Eating a well balanced diet helps in maintaining your energy levels and improves your overall health and well being. So if you desire a healthy lifestyle that will pay off on your skin and health in general, you may consider planning your meals and watch how much your skin improves.

The challenge with skipping meals is that when your body needs food, when it does not get it then your energy drops too much and it affects your entire body. You can even become sluggish and you find yourself taking less interest in even taking care of yourself. Health is everything!

I remember how i used to starve myself and i would be so moody. this affected me at work and at home too. So be mindful of any diet you decide to put yourself on. if it frustrates you, it is not worth it, well being is holistic.

Hair and Nails

Look! I get it, you may not afford to go to the salon all the time when it comes to money and your time. However you can try to can a fresh look once a month or once in two months. This will depend on how you are able to maintain a hairstyle. This seems like something so small but makes such a big difference. It will make getting ready in the morning much easier and this will really make you feel as special as a woman should.

Let no one make you feel guilty for spending on your hair and nails once a while, it will save you so much time in the mornings and you will be showering yourself with love as you take care of your hair and nails. It is not everyone who will love to do their nails but keeping them neat and clean does a lady so much good.

Wear Make Up

I have confessed just how much I love make up because it allows me to be creative and do whatever look I decide on as the mood arises. Some people are afraid of using make up because they have been told it will ruin their skin, I did my research before using it. I got mixed answers but what I found out is that if you take care of your skin, and remove makeup before you sleep your skin will do well.

Maintaining good natural skin is the best so you can enjoy make up free days too mommy.

Sometimes there is a controversy between being a natural and wearing makeup, the decision is yours to make by enhancing your natural features and having fun with what feels fun and lovely to do.

Laugh

How tense are we though? We assume things, make judgments about everything, worry about everything, wonder if we are loved enough and we focus on things that weigh us down. How about you spend 30 minutes to an hour on what brought you joy and continually doe. That could be as simple as baking, spending time with your children, making your spouse some tea or watching something that really makes you laugh.

The next time you catch yourself holding back to fit in, remember to let go and trust that you are exactly who you are being in this very moment.

“Happy girls are the prettiest” I agree and you become a magnet to good things. Laugh with your children and live moment to moment.

Believe In Yourself

Learn to believe in yourself! Sometimes we write down our dreams and things do not turn out the way we hoped they would, we make mistakes in our paths, we do not fit in in our environment and we pray for things thinking God has not answered yet He is all knowing and will always be at the right time. It is time to pick yourself up and start pursuing your dreams again.

Go back to the foundation that is God’s word and remind yourself what God says about you.

As moms we carry a lot on our shoulders, we try to be the best we can be and it can be overwhelming at times. Remember to trust that you are the right parent for your children and focus on improving where you can.

Dress for Your Body

This makes the biggest difference and it is the little things that make you feel absolutely gorgeous. Take a few minutes a day or a week and plan your wardrobe. This will make dressing up much simpler, there nothing as depressing as not knowing what to wear.

Add some jewellery to your closet, the simplest thing you can ever do. it transform an outfit.

Thrift collect and add some beautiful items to your wardrobe.

Create time and go through Pinterest which can give you a guide on the type of body you have and how to dress for it. Pay attention to how you feel as you make these changes, being a mom does not mean neglecting your style really. You can just be smart about your time.

Self-Care Days

Pick your self-care days and when the children are asleep give yourself some good pampering including a bubble bath, Skin care routine, read a book, read the bible, be offline and fulfill taking care of yourself holistically.

Enjoy Being a Woman

As moms we often forget ourselves or lose ourselves in our roles yet we are still women. Women love to look good, feel good and sexy without being apologetic about it. Get yourself those lovely under garments and whatever makes you feel womanly. I love showing some leg, well that is one of my best features that I love about myself and that is my legs.

I pick days where I can absolutely dress up since most days I rush through the mornings and for me I pick Fridays where I can go to work all dressed up and I love that, I am a woman.

Find what you enjoy as mom and create the time for it.

Receive Love

This is one big topic that I hope I articulate so well. We run around taking care of everyone as mothers and we find it hard to receive love I guess because we have toughened up to take care of our children and our families. We have felt the need to protect our children and now we hardly allow ourselves to enjoy and receive love from your spouse.

When you allow yourself to just be a woman, allow yourself to be sexy in your own way and are not apologetic about it, you will receive love from your spouse so easily and not push him away because you know you deserve love.

I would love you to read this post on how to grow in marriage.

It is time we learnt to enjoy being in love and embrace it as part of God’s creation.

Lift Others

Lifting others and celebrating their blessings opens your heart places you in a position of contentment. Be the voice that encourages people around them, you do not have to carry the weight of being savior! That is not what I mean, but speak kindly and celebrate with others when they celebrate. This does not make your own life small but you are sowing a seed for a healthy environment, it starts with you and you will be one happy girl as the power of intention unfolds the same way in your life.

You can offer knowledge to someone on raising children and simply improve their lives.

Summary

I hope you have found this absolutely helpful and i look forward to getting feedback from you as you relate to how this has made your life much simpler. I do believe we can have the best of all worlds, being a mom and enjoy other roles without feeling like we have to choose one over the other.

Wrapped In Love!

Futhi Mkhwanazi

5 Ways to Grow In Your Walk with God As Busy Parents

Too often we allow ourselves to grow and walk without God. It sounds harsh but it’s the reality of what truly happens as we become busier or adopt busy lifestyles. At times we just need to see how we can create the time for the most important things in life.

We are able to make time for everything else but growing in knowing God. There is no need to feel bad about neglecting your relationship with God but being aware of this helps you to create the time to read the word of God, pray and grow in knowing God.

Why is our relationship with God Important?

Everything else that we do depends on this very relationship. This sets the foundation for your marriage, your home, your relationship with your children, the relationship you have with your colleagues, friends and immediate family members.

Your beliefs are exactly what governs you on how you intend to live your life. If you are not growing spiritually then it means a large part of your walk with God will be a fantasy and you will not get to fully understand who you truly worship. It is easy to be tossed to and from when you are not rooted in the knowledge of the one you worship.

Do you know whom you worship?

Do you know whom you teach your children about?

What I know about children is they notice everything you do and say to them. They will know if you just go to church for the sake of attending but you do not really delight yourself in the things of the Lord. You can Have both worlds by fellowship with others and being intimate with God.

Psalms 37: 4
Delight yourself in The Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.

It is important to notice when you grow cold and distant in the things of the Lord. It starts as really innocent because we are busy as parents and I believe God knows that and He knows if we truly desire to seek Him we will find the time to dedicate to Him.

I have noticed that it becomes a pattern whenever you become distant in knowing God and growing in knowing Him. It does not happen overnight but it becomes a number of consistent activities that move you further away from God’s word.

Things that can potentially push you away

Obsessing over your hobbies
Not reading the word Of God
Not practicing the Word (the heart is growing cold)
Holding grudges
Replacing your time with God and not creating time to replace time lost
Less time for prayer

A very recent post about teaching your children about God will help many families to neglect not teaching their children about the knowledge of God. Our children learn and see us model the life we live and whether we notice or not they are absorbing who we truly are. We have a chance to notice when we move away from The Godly way so we can sow the seeds we desire in our children even for future generations to come.

Related Post!

11 Ways To Help Your Children Know God

Let us look and see ways we can stay connected with God as busy parents;

5 Minute Breaks

I love this so much and as much as I have not been faithful in doing this it is one of the ways I grew in knowing God. This is similar to time blocking and I would use every 5 minute break I had to get to read the Word of God or communicate what I wanted to say to God. This I did whether I was at work or at home or driving where I would either read the word of God, listen to an audio bible or simply talk to God about my concerns, worries and thanksgiving.

This helped me grow and made it easy for me to meditate in the word of God. I recommend this for you today because I know most of the time you are occupied with your family. However you need your relationship with God as it is the sure foundation and hope you have no matter what circumstances come your way.

It is easy for our minds to easily focus on things that do not build our minds but this is another way we can manage what we consume daily. This that we consume daily has a direct impact on our lives and it becomes flesh.

So next time you take a minute break, learn to focus on the word of God or worship and give thanks to God for life. This will help you focus also on gratitude more and less on complaining which will completely transform your life and open your eyes to what God has already blessed you with in your life.

If we can exercise to tone our bodies, we can exercise the spirit man in us to cleanse our souls, heal, thank God and Worship God.

Psalms 23:3
He restores my soul, He leads me in the path of righteousness for his name’s sake.

Find a Community

Find a community that Finds pleasure in the things of God, People who are not ashamed of knowing God and people you can learn so from not because they are perfect but they exercise following and knowing God. When you become part of a community you are creating an environment for yourself that is conducive for growth in your pursuits.

Things become easier when you are actually surrounded by like minded people who make something so attractive and maybe you follow them on social media, blogs or hang out with them on your free time. You are challenged to grow in knowing God as you witness people who love God passionately.

The purpose however is not to imitate anyone but to get to know and pursue God for yourself. By knowing God on a personal level.

I would not like to make things more complicated for the busy parent by adding yourselves whats app groups or zoom meetings that will take your time and make you despise such meetings. However the point is to be liberated in such a way that you do not feel burdened to keep a certain time even when you are burnt out. Liberation should be praising and worshiping or reading a post or better yet time for God’s word when you are able and alert.

Platforms You Can Use!

Subscribe to a blog; a blog that mainly talks about the Word of God. Not because you may not do it by yourself but as you receive a notification you are reminded or made aware at that moment of whom you worship and just take 5- 10 minutes to read. Really some blog posts literally take a few minutes to read but leave you empowered.
Audio Bible; this is so favorable for the busy parent. Put it on as you drive to work or as you prepare supper or as you run errands.
Bible App: the powerful thing is that it will be on your cellphone and you can read the Word when you create a few minutes to read the word.
Journal; I love to journal on the verses I read which helps me to meditate on them, you will notice it helps you too as you do so.

Memory Verses

This is not just for the children but for the entire family. On our post on teaching children about God we looked at giving children memory verses. We further stated that the Word of God is not just words but it is life living through the Word and takes root in the heart of the child. This includes you as a parent, the word takes root in your heart as you memorize it and chew on it (ruminate)

Sometimes it will be a specific verse that encourages you whenever you feel down and you encourage yourself in the Lord by God’s Word.

Picking Memory verses!

Based On an area of weakness; There is nothing that is so discouraging than feeling completely powerless in a situation. However the word of God lets us know that His power is made perfect in our weakness. This is very comforting and liberating knowing we can trust God to help us be the parents we desire to be.
Prayer for Protection; as parents one of the things we spend most of our time doing is worrying about our children. There are verses you can memorize and meditate on and build your faith and trust in knowing God said great is the peace of your children. Is that not comforting?
Prayer for the Future; we may not know exactly our future but God does and he says all things work together for the good of those who love Him. Romans 8:28. We trust God To help us raise our children in the way they should go so they do not depart from it when they are old. We trust God to bless the works of our hands and help us to grow in every area as parents too.
Prayer for Your Marriage; A family starts from marriage and as much as we see a lot of marriages crumbling, it does not change God’s promises and intentional purpose for our marriages. There are verses for the husband, verses for the wife and meditating on these help build a Godly marriage as you practice living in your God given role.

Romans 8:28
all things work together for the good of those who love Him.

Practice the Word of God

This is a huge statement of faith and impacts your spirit man as you learn to practice the Word of God, you exercise your faith. Practicing God’s word is obeying God’s commandments. When God says do not be afraid, obeying Him means having the faith that He is protecting you from your fears. Teach yourself to Practice being bold and courageous.

When God teaches you to forgive through His word means you practice this even when it is so uncomfortable. This makes a huge statement in your walk of faith not just to people but to yourself as you grow knowing God.

Prepare For Bible Study

Nothing brings you closer to growth than becoming a teacher in that area. In this case becoming a teacher of God’s word helps you grow in knowing God. But who will I teach?

Your children.

Prepare A word for your family even if it is based on one verse so you go over it as a family during your bible study or prayer time as a family. Create the time for bible study and prayer as a family and allow yourself to prepare to share with your children and your spouse. You will notice just how you grow closer into knowing God personally than just being preached at only but you further seek for yourself and desire an intimate relationship with the Father.

As you share the word, children always have brilliant questions you can answer using the Word of God. This creates more reason to find out more and know more as you feed them too with The Word of God.

Summary!

Have you ever felt like you do not know who you worship? I have felt like this knowing I was raised in a Christian family but did not know God for myself until I decided to pursue knowing His Word that I learnt more about and loved Him as I pursued a relationship with God.

One of my favorite verses is the supremacy Of Christ because it really gave me the picture of whom I really worship. This is found in Colossians 1: 17, I would also recommend it for you.

Above everything I desire that you know that you are not alone. Experience on being a parent may be limited but the word of God is a sure foundation you can lean on any day and any moment. I desire that as we help each other as families in our experiences we do not forget to point people to God who is a solution to everything in life.

God Bless You and Your Families!

Wrapped In Love

Futhi Mkhwanazi

7 Ways to Plan For A Mini Vacation Without Children

It is okay to allow yourself some time away from the children to focus on building other relationships because we do need to connect with the ones we love from time to time.

I am one who loves families so much and encourage parents to take time to bond even if it’s for a few hours over a cup of tea.

I would not love to leave the single parent out because these are things we hardly talk about. We all deserve time to ourselves and this does not make you a bad parent.

A good foundation for any family is a peaceful home built only by love. You cannot therefore give what you do not have even a good relationship with yourself and God is just as important so you can establish your home from these values.

Allow yourself to miss your children so that you can return home with renewed strength. This way you are able to be more patient with your children and not just your children but everyone else around you.

Time away gives us a great chance to even reflect on who exactly we are, our values, our beliefs and our purpose and if we are still in alignment with our dreams.

You will even reflect on your parenting role of your everyday life choices are aligned with your dreams. By the end of this post I desire that you see;

You deserve time off
The possibility of allowing yourself time, care and love
Freeing yourself from the guilt of outing alone as parent or as a parent
And start planning for your outing today!

It is important that you take the most from this post and that it should not be a burden to you financially but use what you have and what you are able to do. You will consider everything including your lifestyle so you can enjoy an outing or time alone and still return home content about your financial position.

Consider your life plans as a whole, short term goals and long term goals. Not only that but how young your children are and who can be able to watch them briefly.

This will help you know what kind of outing can work for you at the moment. If you are currently building a home, you may need to save up for some time for a getaway and may consider a dinner date at the time being.

You know the needs of your marriage better and what you long for, considering also your goals as a family so we live a peaceful life as we do things as a team.

Consider the following;

Dinner date
Mini vacation/ Stay cation
Breakfast
Long vacation

Planning

Yup, you will need to plan for the outing. As much as it is fun to be spontaneous it might not work for you when you have children that are still young. It is good to alert whoever is watching your children ahead that you will be delayed or you will be away and alert he well ahead of time.

It may be less complicated if you have a stay in nanny, however it is always good to respect people enough to alert them on time.

Nothing will happen without planning for it, pick the day ahead!

Plan according to your needs now, if you need a mini vacation then plan and look at some of the things you need to consider on the points that follow.

Pay Nanny Overtime

Why go through all the trouble?

This is because families make communities and marriages make families so it is worth the effort. Basically find someone who can watch your children. Do consider how long it will take for you to be away and whether it is a couple of hours, a day or a couple of days.

If you have more than one child, consider that too. How much can your nanny handle? Consider how much work it takes to take care of your children. This will help you go over all necessary essentials before leaving.

Remember that this is more overtime and a little extra can encourage the nanny too. Let her know in time so she can change alter her plans too. I would advise this plan on a day’s date though without sleeping out.

Rope In Your Parents

If your parents are close by and up for the sleep over or your children may enjoy a visit at their grandparent’s home.

I know a lot of people feel really comfortable to leave their children with parents and this includes my husband and I. We know just how much they love and enjoy their grandchildren and most importantly they are so patient with them.

If you will be choosing to be away for the night or some days, rope in the grand parents. If you know it may be tough to handle your children if they are still younger then hire help but someone you know and trust to help your parents watch the children.

If Parents are far or you are not able to use grandparents for whatever reasons, someone who knows your children well and enjoys time with them may be a call away.

Prepare For the Children

Prepare for the children and what they will need. Of course we do not have all the time but we can create time. Knowing our children well makes life so much easier because we understand their needs pretty well.

Take into consideration the following list as you prepare for your children;

Food
Fruits and snacks
Water
Clothes
Entertainment
Bath essentials
Sleep

These are quite broad, let them guide you and be a mini check list for getting all they need for them. Under clothes for example includes pajamas, underwear, warm clothes, light clothes and changing clothes. Be afraid not to communicate your needs to whoever will be watching your children.

Prepare For Yourselves

Prepare for yourselves too, depending on what you had planned. I notice that it may help to take a day off or leave work earlier so you drop the children earlier. This puts less pressure on you to drop and prepare for your children on time before you get to your dinner date late or leave late for your mini staycation (vacation in your home country).

Give yourself time to prepare your wardrobe too because you do not want to be worrying about what to wear when you are already away. Plan each day if you will be there more than one day. This gives you more time to important things like your bonding and really catching up with your spouse. I mean when the last time you had quiet time to yourselves was before the children.

Let Go Of the Guilt

I know that feeling in your stomach when you have to leave the children behind. It’s definitely not easy, however you are not a bad parent and you will make time for them when you are well rested and full of energy to continue the journey in parenting. I mean it is a lifetime journey, a couple of hours and a day or two will not take much from you.

Your children will be happy knowing you are a much nicer parent when refreshed.

You have planned and have prepared well for your children to be safe, loved and taken care of.

It really does take a community to raise children.

Plan for the Children’s Outing

When your return! Unless you have a toddler (s) they will just be happy to see you home. Older children already know when you leave them for a fun mommy and daddy time.

So plan their outing too and keep things balanced so they are happy too. Little things impress children but know what your children love but what i know for sure is that time with you is priceless!

So whether you desire some time alone with your spouse, your own time as a single parent with friends. This post is for you. Whether you work full time, work from home, are a stay at home parent you really deserve time off from your normal.

Rekindle that fire in you, the one that brought you here on earth and see yourself being healed and look forward to joyful days.

Learn to be creative, if money is tight learn ways that are free and can feel like an outing. You can even use your home and send your children to your parents. Enjoy a dinner for two! Life is big and love is expressed in many ways than I can actually mention here.

Wrapped in love!

Futhi Mkhwanazi

8 Ways Busy Parents Can Stay Focused On Family

As we start the week there are so many things that demand our attention. Until we find balance we may not be able to enjoy best of both worlds being our career pursuits and our life at home.

But why does it matter so much?

It matters that you have the satisfaction that you were able to be there for your family while giving your best to your career too. If you are a stay at home parent, it is a bigger and more demanding role that you play because you are there for your children with no break. This post is for you too, i applaud the work you do!

When we have not been able to focus well on all our roles we get that feeling that something is missing or broken and it can really weigh us down.

However instead of allowing this feeling to go on unattended, let us face it head on and see what we can enjoy with our families despite our busy schedules.

You can either continue to feel overwhelmed or plan to handle your life better so you do not feel like you are really drowning between your roles when it should be an enjoying season.

You will not enjoy luxury time like one who does not have children yet. Understand that you will have to be wise with your time and some days put off some things to build a lifelong relationship with your family.

If we all have 24 hours, it means as a spouse, parent yours is shared with your family.

[ ] Make Your Family A Priority
It is very easy to lose sight of what is important in your life when you think you have all the time to correct things.

We see the things we value by where we spend our time and our money. This can be a great time to evaluate your priorities to see if you still give your family time.

Of course your schedule may be tight, but when you are at home learn to be at home. Give yourself time with the people that matter to you.

You can be home but if you spend so much time on your cellphone it means you are not present.
Practise leaving your cellphone in another room for some minutes so you fufil your role at home too.

[ ] Create Time ( deliberately)
Now that you have an idea of your priorities and if spending time with your family had taken a back seat it means you merely wish you could spend time with them but do not monitor how you spend your time.

Learn to align yourself consistently

Time lost can never be regained and most of the time we are not able to trace this time beause we numb ourselves with soap operas, social media or whatever we spend a lot of our time on.

Track your time
I love to keep track of time with digital wellbeing and parental controls on my smart phone which helps me know how much time i spend on each app and cuts me off when i exceed the time i have set for myself.

No matter how busy you are, you can afford 10 minutes of focusing on your spouse and children with no gadgets.

It may not be everyday but have your non negotiable days of focus on the family. This means anything that comes up besides family you have not planned can wait. Really, it can wait. Unless its an emergency.

[ ] Family Rituals (non negotiable)
Are you always a busy parent? No need to stress about it, create a time everyday or a day during the week that is special to you and your family.

Family Ritual Ideas
1. Meal times
2. Bible study
3. Prayer time
4. Tea time
What is that thing that you could all enjoy as a family that you all enjoy?

Schedule it after work and let be what brings you together as one.

Each family’s special fun family routine will differ.

13 Ways To Grow And Appreciate Your Spouse Daily

It is so easy to get used to each other when life really has its own demands from us. We tend to lose focus on the things that truly matter because we are preoccupied.

Our intution always has a way of communicating this to us but we find that we miss this voice and we get pre occupied in our daily activities.

Hardly do we take note that we are actually drifting apart in our marriage.

It can come once as a huge burden that weighs heavy on you to appreciate your spouse or it can be a lingering feeling or small voice to focus on your marriage.

Either way let us reset and remind ourselves the things that matter the most to us so that we work towards building our relationships to be strong by giving them attention consistently.

We do know happy parents make happy homes and a healthy envirinment.

Take Note Of These Loop Holes
1. Irritability; when you are easily irritated by your spouse is not something to be taken lightly.
2. Complaning a lot; nothing really satisfies you or makes either of you happy. However your toungue is filled with complaints. This is very draining for any relationship.
3. Lack of intimacy ; the closeness that we desire to have with our spouses may no longer be there. There is distance in between because of many things such as unforgiveness, not supportung one another or not spending time together.
4. No time for each other; time is created deliberately for important things so it may be time we re aligned ourselves daily with our values and goals.
5. Focus only on children; yes it is great and well, however it should not come at the expense of neglecting each other as husband and wife. This is the foundation of the home and it should do really well.

If you have been married for sometime and now it seems you are so busy you hardly can find the time. It happens in all relationships, even the best ones. It is how you tackle such matters and not ignoring the big elephant in the room that propels you to grow.

Let us look at some ways that can help us keep the most inportant relationship on track.

[ ] APRECIATE ONE ANOTHER
It sounds so obvious right? However it is not as obvious and appreciating each other in your marriage can really go a long way.

When you appreciate one another, it brings you closer to one another.

How can you appreciate your spouse?
• Acknowledge any good thing they do.
• Be thankful for their efforts even if its within their role.
• Appreciating their role in your family
There are different ways to appreciate each other consistently.

• Help them with their favourite beverag like preparing them tea or coffee.( hey i am not saying work hard but do these kind gestures out of love)
• Prepare their favourite meal once a while
• Watch favourite shows together
• Buy some chocolate for them
These are messages in action that say, i appreciate you!

[ ] KIND WORDS
Practise, practise, practise! Practise saying kind words to your spouse. You cannot desire a good healthy relationship with each other while most of your words are unkind to each other.

Example : ” did you remember milk this time”
“Honey, did you remember to buy milk?”

Which one sounds better?

These are the little things that build up overtime and become so big. Imagine what beauty that will be in the longrun when spoken well.

Its easy to talk and not notice how you say things until it becomes an issue and you become defensive about it making communication even harder.

Proverbs 15:1
A soft answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger.

[ ] DREAM TEAM
You are on the same team even when you disagree always remember you are on the same team.
How does a team excel?

We look at our values and beliefs; our short term and long term goals; our strengths and weaknesses, our expertise and we protect our bounderies and each other so we both win always.

Its time to win together!

[ ] DEAL WITH UNFORGIVENESS
Unforgiveness that lingers tarnishes any relationship because it wants to get even.

It can build up from anything and as long as you are living we all need to learn to forgive. We all fall short and we misunderstand each other, sometimes we feel vulnerable at our extended families like our in laws. We may feel unprotected by our spouse in such matters.

These things happen, however looking at what kind of a marriage you desire you can only choose to forgive.

Ofcourse i am not saying let all things slide, no at all. Do allow wisdom to fill your heart. Some things are not worth making an issue and where there is an issue gain insight and deal with it in a way that makes you all win.

[ ] BE THE RIGHT PERSON
We are always counting on just how much we want our spouse to be the perfect person. What i know is that what you sow, you shall reap.

What if you shifted your focus and concentrated on your own role to give it your best and make a joyful life for your spouse.
Whatever you appreciate in your life appreciates.

The bond between a husband and wife should just be effortless and expessing love and kindness should just come naturally.

What is your role in marriage?
Are you promoting and encouraging your spouse to be the best they can be?

[ ] LISTEN
Be a good listener! We always desire to be heard and that is okay. However what if you taught yourself to listen.

Being a good listener is not just about hearing what another says but its trying to put yourself in someone’s shoes.

When you are always brushing off what your spouse says, they will close up and avoid being vulnerable with you.

[ ] SPEND TIME!
there is no other simpler way but create the time for each other. You can be creative and see which times work for you but time where you can be able to just focus on eac other.

After the children go to bed, utilise that and switch off your cellphone or put it away. It is necessary for you to grow together in love.

Focusing on children is great and necessary but allow yourself to get away and miss them. Recharge and come home to them ready to spend time with them and play because you are well and refreshed.

Maybe a get away is now necessary even if its one night. Hey it need not be expensive but plan around what you can do and get someone you trust to watch your children.

Or simply dress up and have a date night.

11 Ways To Help Your Children Know God

Many parents feel church and Sunday school is enough to teach our children to know God. Yet as a parent you may also feel that you do not know much when it comes to the Word Of God.

Guess what?

None of us actually get to a place where we know Him so well but He just keeps revealing himself to us every day.

This is a relationship with God and relationships thrive when they are nurtured and nourished on a consistent basis.

Grow in knowing him as you teach your children about God Through His Word and bible study together with the children.

By the end of this post you should be able to:

Plan for bible study with your children
Trust that you can grow in knowing God as you teach your children about God
Establish a routine that will work consistently as a family prayer time.
Have memory verses that will be prepared and outlined by you to share with your children.
Make the most of colouring pages
Time block and get at least 10 minutes from your schedule to prepare for bible study for your children.

[ ] In The beginning
Take them to the beginning of The Word Of God.

Genesis 1:1
In the beginning God Created The heavens and the earth.

Continue and let them know where man began living and that is where we all come from. Show them that God’s love is timeless and eternal spreading through all generations and for all people who should be reconciled back to Him through His Word Jesus Christ.

This helps them understand where it all began and as they were born, the world began from God’s Word too.

They will follow and desire to know more, even if they are too young to perceive it now but they hear what you are saying and it is planted in their hearts.

[ ] God’s love
God’s love will heal you in times when you have no other point of reference. God will be the best friend you need when you feel lonely and feel as though no one understands your current situation.

Emphasise God’s love to your children. God is love and the book of John explains that love that God is. God is drescribed as Love.

There are verses that further emphasize What is Love? In 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. Let that be your standard in your home.

Yes, standard! We pick role models in society who seem to align with our values and beliefs. However when those people fall short, we drift and fall short too and find we now compromise our values.

When God’s Word is the standard, you learn to depend on your relationship with God than just being a religious person who follows a cult.

[ ] Knowing Jesus Christ The Son Of God
The Word of God tells us that anyone who has seen Jesus has seen the Father. So as we watch Jesus Christ we know Him because God’s fullness dwels in Him.

I love Colosians 1:17 where it explains to us who exactly Jesus is and that helps as you read the scripture to your children, the more you teach is the more you understand yourself.

Children are not afraid to ask honest questions and in that way you will desire to know more and your relationship with God grows as you serve as a teacher of the Word to your children.

[ ] Never Too Young To Understand
Start as early as possible even now. As much as they attend sunday school and go to church with you but it is sealed in them when they hear about Godly principles and love from you. Do not forget to emphasize the love, children understand love more than anything else.

They are pure, full of love and innocence. They thrive in a loving environment, they grow knowing who they truly are and its not easily tarnished as they grow.

Wear love yourself and be soaked with the Word of God so you teach your children.

We have allowed fear to rule our lives for too long, we need to be strong and courageous so our children learn to live by faith and not in fear.
Joshua 1:8

[ ] Allow the seed to germinate
We often look for results too soon and this makes us give up on the journey that we have started pursuing consistently. Yeah sure children will misbehave sometimes as much as you teach them the word, however the Word will surely take root.

Allow yourself to be consistent because children will pick when you are inconsistent with what you tell them and live contrary to what you say.
Actually they understand more and are more receptive to the word of God than older people. They are ready to receive what you tell them with their pure hearts.

Just as you would sow the seeds of a tree, you know the fruits will be enjoyed by the next generation but the harvest will surely be there and you will know you have done your part and have no regrets.

You may not see obedience now, however you will see it.

[ ] Prayer
Pray together as a family and it can be a daily habit that you do together. This will teach the children to pray too as they hear you pray everyday.

This is what i love about taking your children to bed because you can always pray together in their bedroom. Well just have a specific time you do so or else it will not happen.

However you can always use the living room before going to bed where you can have your daily prayers.

They will learn and know the importance of prayer by seeing you pray and knowing you trust God to answer your prayers.

[ ] Parents Pray For Your Children
Speak a Word over their lives, speak life unto their years to come, unto their families, unto their health, unto their peace, unto their blessings, pray for their protection and never take lightly the prayer you pray for them as a parent.

You are in a place of authority, God has trusted you with their lives.

Ofcourse there are certain areas you may focus on where you feel the need to like protection, education, wholeness, health, healthy environment, stong backbone, provision,love, the right friends, good influence and the list goes on.

[ ] Live The Godly Life
Live the life of Jesus Christ and pray that you show these children the way that one who follows Christ lives. Exalt the Word of God in your home above anything else. Let them trust God as young as they are.

If they desire to know more about God, tell them more about God and let the word take root.

Do not let yourself be too busy but have quality time with your children.

‘Train a child in the way He should go and when he is old he will not turn away from it

If you teach your children about forgiveness, practise it yourself with them in your home and practise forgiving them when they make mistakes so they will know what forgiveness is as you model the life that is lived.

[ ] Bible stories
Take advantage of bible stories from the bible that show man who lived before and walked with God. People are captivated by stories and they relate with their own life stories.

Children also relate as they watch their surroundings and the lives lived by their parents.

A few popular examples
• Adam And Eve In The Garden
• Jonah and the Fish
• Daniel and The Lion’s Den
• David and Goliath
• Jesus feeds 5000
• Queen Esther and Modercia (my girls favourite)
• Jesus Christ turns water into wine
• Jesus Christ took little children on his knee

[ ] Bible colouring story pages
Take it further with the bible story reading that you can repeat and ask your children questions.

Print or simply buy colouring bible pages for children that go with their bible stories. This makes the story to be rememebered and it is articulated in a way they will understand as they enjoy colouring.

It would help to have a set of crayons in your home so that when you need them or when they desire to colour it can come with a story to be read to them.

[ ] Memory verses
I started with memory verses as a sunday school teacher and i noted that even as a parent you remember these verses when you need them and i desired that we continue with memory verses even at home as a family so the children memorise them.

It can be really simple to teach them to establish a relationship with God as they recite the verses it becomes so meaningful to them and they develop curiosity on knowing and pleasing God.

You can make it a family affair, when you take the children to bed every night, recite memory verses.

You can use the bible and outline the verses for the week or the month may be more practical.

Read it to them and let them repeat after you until they have memorised and they can say it by themselves.

Fill their bedroom with colourful memory verses.

Another option is actually printing out the menory verses for that month and going over them as a family after supper or when taking the children to bed.

Let us be practical and practise what we are talking about here. Choose a bible study topic or story from the bible that you will prepare ahead for your children and as you grow tick all the boxes here and other boxes i did not mention too.

Feel free to give me feedback, i would love to know how you are doing.

Wrapped In Love

Futhi mkhwanazi

Sharing is Caring!

6 Ways To Keeping The Good Nanny!

Years or months have passed since you hired your nanny. However after so many years, the relationship may have just become stale.

This does not mean the nanny is no longer good nor does it mean you are a bad employer. There are many things that go on in a relationship and one of the most ignored relationship is one with your nanny.

It may be time you revisited this relationship to see if its really working and if not taking the responsibility as a leader to fix it.

Blame

The silent killer of most relationships is the blame game. As much as you may feel justified in this, there will never be a real solution to blaming your nanny for everything going wrong in the household.

It is always easier to blame the nanny for everything that goes wrong yet it is not the best option.

It would help to look at all aspects and what you can do to help the situation because you are the leader. How a household is run depends on how you lead your home.

Issues Of Concern

She does not listen
She does what she wants
She is no longer good

People do get tired as i am a witness in my own life as a mom that works fulltime. Doing the same job can be tiring and when no one appreciates the work you do except complain can affect your moral and lower your productivity.

We desire change, spontaneity, novelty, creativity, acknowledgement,involvement, to be appreciated, to be cared for and to make our environment conducive for working.

A Conducive Environment & Equipment

Providing work gear
Working utensils and equipment like brooms, mops, vacuum, soaps, cleaning material, running water, buckets.
Food for the children and nanny
Salary
Leave days

These are the things that make the nanny’s job much easier and more manageable. Our responsibility as an employer is to make sure that all these are available so your nanny is in a worry free space to carry out all her duties.

Guess what?

We all get weary, we all complain at some point about our jobs but if you have a good nanny you most definitely want to retain the good nanny.

We all know that retaining a nanny is not so easy just as finding a good nanny is challenging.

We know there are things you cannot compromise like children’s safety, feeding children well consistently, attitudes and more. However there are those little things that you loosen up.

Its good to learn to treat people well and i have learnt that thanking people and acknowledging them in areas they excel in makes a big difference. If they are good, they appreciate that and want to do better in every area.

Next time when its your nanny’s birthday, get a cake so she enjoys with her family.

A token of appreciation does so much in areas where they feel they have been ill treated. It heals and opens room for communication, healing and the desire for them to improve areas they had neglected.

Putting Order And New life In Your Home

[ ] Take Resposinbility

The success of each home depends on the leaders, the parents on the home. You cannot place the success of your home in the hands of your nanny.

You are responsible for your household and the direction it takes. Putting blame strips you off the power to change any thing that may be disorder to you and even if you feel there is a lot of work to do. You can start the journey and see the fruits of of change in your home.

For example maybe you feel the children are losing so much weight, maybe its time you trained your nanny on how much they should feed the children and how often.

We do come from different homes amd we really need to acknowledge that each home does things differently. So your nanny may be used to giving her own children smaller or fewer meals per day.

Its possible to change things, take responsibillity and initiate the change. Complaining will not change the situation

[ ] Put Yourself In Her Shoes
Learn to be considerate and just teach yourself to care about other people who are not related to you.

Changing a nanny is tough on the whole family especially the children. So if you find a good one, retain the good nanny and consider her challenges and ways to make her life much better too. When people work for you, let their lives improve for the better.

Consider things like leave days, maternity leave and salary reviews too so that even when they compare themselves to the industry they have not reason to quit on you.

It is a good thing to allow your nanny time to rest and recharge so they are able to be productive and to enjoy their salary too.

Unless you have a nanny that really frustrates you and quite toxic then you may consider changing the nanny for the sake of the children to live in a happy and hostile free environment.

Relate Post!

Recruting A New Nanny! And Retaining The Good One

[ ] Communicate Well
Learn to speak well and observe your own body language too. Know when to speak and when to be quiet. You are building a home where your children remain with the nanny. Build with your tounge rather than destroying.

When you are angry it may mot be wise to correct but allow yourself to be in a calm state so you build a relationship with the one who looks after your children.

There is a way you say things as you express yourself. Even if there was a misunderstanding, you find yourself in a position to fix things.

What breaks down communication is assuming that she knows everything she is supposed to do. Many things yes, however somethings she may not view the way you do.

Sitting down and explaining will save you a lot of energy being frustrated and being noble towards your nanny and stating things well.

[ ] Recreate A Healthy Relationship
It is always easier to recreate a healthy relationship with your spouse, family members, children, friends, colleagues but just not one with your nanny.

This means you pay attention to how you treat her, what you say and be the boss that is genuinely concerned about her wellbeing. You cannot make it look as if you care, its either you care or do not.

There are certain practises that may help like offering off days, half days, cleaning material and generally providing things that makes her job easier.

[ ] Reward And Praise
Give honour where it is due. There are areas where she excels, by all means show your appreciation instead of complaining all the time about everything. If she is a good nanny, surely there is something she is doing well.

I realised that recently i was constantly complaining about my nanny yet i remember she is amoung the best nannies. However we get used to people and take them for granted, sometimes because we are too focused on other things we forget to appreciate.

No matter how much you complain about things but when you offer praise and reward where you can, anyone strives to
do better in all other areas.

[ ] Involvement
Have a way to involve her in her work. How can she improve other areas and how can you as an employer make her life easier in her job. Allow her to express that so you can have something to improve too as a leader.

[ ] Salary Review
I am suggesting that it may help to have a competitive salary. That is one advise i got as i was struggling with finding a nanny. Knowing the average salary and giving a competitive one.

I may be parting with a some good money but i have peaceful nights and stress free mornings. I also know that i have someone’s life that i am improving and contributing towards.

Things change though, so review the salary and benefits from time to time and when there are changes.
Changes like adding a new baby to the family or getting a bigger house may come with exoectations of a salary increase.

Talk about those things with each other as family then talk to your nanny if you know you are still strapped to increase the salary.

If You know your nanny is giving you challenges, makes excuses to be absent, does not feed the children well and other things you cannot compromise on. It may be time to have a conversation with her but know how to speak well then if it does not work. Make options to change her but pay her well and read a post on recruiting a new nanny.

Wrapped in Love,

Futhi Mkhwanazi

10 Life Changing Beauty Tips For Busy Moms

Any great routine starts with actually planning for it and preparing the night before. You think you will magically look as good as you did before having children by being casual about it.

Nah, let me tell you the difference. Before you had children it was really effortless, you prepared your clothes the night before, you had time to browse through magazines, through blogs, you took time shopping for clothes, choosing your hairstyles, your nails and lip color and had no problem spending the day at the salon.

Back then you really thought your look was so effortless but because you had far less responsibilities and the time so now you see it was well thought out but did not need much effort and planning.

Does that mean you have to neglect your look now that you are married with children or simply now that you have children and a home to take care of?

I do not think so, I had been so trapped into thinking earlier in my life I dressed up so effortlessly and things should still be the same. However I would wake up, start exercising, blog, prepare breakfast, bath and dressing time I realized each time I was not dressing up the way I really desired to look and know myself to look. It seemed like my style went out the window every time.

Note the difference, now you are pre-occupied with spending as much time with your family, cooking, chores, working and this part is pretty much neglected.

Since you do not have all the time you used to have while you were younger, however you still want to look as good if not better. So let us come up with a plan on how we can actually look the way we desire and still have happy spouses and happy children.

Skin Care Routine
Learn to give yourself 10 minutes every evening and morning for your skincare. It does not have to be a complicated process but as long as you have the right products for your skin type then it will be easier to get the products you desire.

Cleanser
Get yourself a cleanser that is best suitable for your skin. This makes a big difference so thst you do not waste time trying to correct the skin from the product you used that either left your skin too dry if you have dry skin or too oily if you have oily skin.

Toner
After cleansing use a toner daily so you get the most from your skin care. Likewise get one that is really good for your skin. Try researching for products before going to buy because at times when you purchase you may find a product still does not match your skin type.

Serum
I believe this is so important if you have a dry skin to keep your skin hydrated. This has been such a relief for my skin too. If this is not necessary for you simply skip this and go for a moisturiser.

Moisturiser
This step is so inportant, you need not skip it anyday. What i love aboit most moisurisers is that they now have an inbuilt sunscreen within. This simplifies the steps.

Practise this on a daily basis and if you feel you have an extra 3 minutes, add some oil that you can use daily to plump your skin especially overnight.

Hair
Make that hair appointment at the salon. A really great beauty shortcut is having gorgeous hair. It need not be expensive but doing your hair regularly and well even if its at home makes the biggest difference.

It is also a great time saving hack because when your hair is messy you spend so much time trying to get ready yet great hair does not even need to be complimented by makeup.

Nails
Keeping your nails clean and well taken care of are these small things we think go unnoticed. They make a big difference. After putting the children to bed, take some few minutes and trim your nails and file them.

If you are the glamarous mommy you can go to the salon and get your nails done. Once a month or twice, this instantly updates your look.

Go through pinterest to decide on the kind of nails you desire then just go for them, an hour or 2 once every 2 months does not take away quality time with your children.

Get Rid Of Frump
We have all been guilty of this especially when your children are still young. Yet planning for good clothes makes it possible to dress the way you really want whether you are at home or out of the house.

It comes with planning, for you to do anything it has to be intentional. Know the things you deserve and go after them. It will not happen by wishful thinking, take action. It will help to practise too.

Update Your Closet
The transition from being pregnant to giving birth are so clearly evident that most clothes may stretch even as you breasfeed or just as your body changes.

Now may be a great time to update your closet. You will most definitely have to plan for it. You need to prepare for change if that is what you desire.

Declutter
Clutter clouds your judgement and you may think you are not able to dress the way you used to yet you cannot be fully creative and express yourself well in a clutered space.

Organise
I can already tell that you are wondering where you will get all this time. Well on a free day, create the time deliberately. Organise your clothes well in a way that will inspire you and you can already see what you can add or give away.

Favourite mom tip
Do consider thrift collecting so you do not spend too much!

Accesories

Accesories take you outfit from simple to glam so never shy away from adding accesories. If your budget is really tight this is something so simple you can add that will make your look updated too.

Make Up
I love it, but if you do not its okay. Rock what makes you feel good and honors who you really are.

You can really keep it so simple with just a bold lipstick and mascara. Before i started using foundation, 2 years ago i would buy a new bold lipstick and a volumising mascara just to update my look.

If you decide to take it further you can either buy these items one or two at a time or purchase once off. The choice is yours.

The most basic make up list includes a

1. Foundation; it is important to find your shade! This can be a tough one but rewarding when you find one. Trust your instinct too, if its not right then its not.
2. Concealer; a shade lighter or two shades lighter than your skin tone. These are great for concealing those mommy eye bags when you have not been sleeping.
3. Beauty Blender; a sponge or brush. One that will work for you when blending your makeup.
4. Eyebrow pencil; to shape and define your brows. It immediately makes you look so well groomed.
5. Setting powder; to set your liquid foundation.

It does not have to take long. 5-10 minutes is enough for an everyday look. This is the time you can create for yourself and give some love to yourself.
Some you tube videos may help inspire you on make up application for busy moms.

Eat Well
It is very important to eat well and it radiates through your skin.
Combine eating well, excercising and sleeping well. Do not forget to drink water too.

It helps to carry a lunch box so you can consistently eat well. Eating well is not starving yourself and neither is it eating too much.

Create Your Enviroment.
Pinterest is a great platform to learn so much on what you see yourself as. Do fun things when you are able, it will inspire you and remind you of what you are drawn too.

Surround yourself with people that inspire you and love you, as you become that person too for others.

Slowly move away from an environment that weighs you down, you are so much more.
If you love dressing up and looking beautiful. There is no shame in that.

Choose A Role Model
There are so many moms you can learn from who are as busy or have busier lifestyles but create the time. Follow them and what you see and expose yourself to grows on you and soon manifests.
Be intetional about it because faith without works is dead.

Wrapped In Love,

Futhi Mkhwanazi

17 Activities To Appreciate Fathers On Fathers Day In 2022!

I will be quite honest with you, I hardly paid attention the previous years on certain distinguished days observed worldwide. However i am learning to use those days to give honor to whom it is due. We are often preoccupied with our own lives that we hardly appreciate the father figures in our lives be it our spouses, father, guardian, grand parents.

They contribute so much more than we acknowledge many times besides taking us tones of pictures for our Instagram and keep the children occupied while we take pictures or work late, they really do keep our emotions and fear in check.

I am pretty sure you are already thinking of the great things done by your spouse, father or guardian and grand father or this may be a person who is a father figure to you.

Those little things we often view as small or insignificant from advice, presence, support, master of the barbecue, compliments and so much more.

Those Things mean so much more and what we appreciate really appreciates as Ken Honda often says and it is time we learnt to say thank you for their lives.

Thank You Notes

It can be in thank you notes, thank you cards, a written text message or WhatsApp message or better yet tell them in person how much you appreciate them. Saying thank you to someone makes a really big difference.

I know just how much I really appreciate the way my husband just randomly says thank you to me just for taking care of them. This makes such a huge difference in my life and it fuels me to go on and become the best wife & mother I can be.

You can even personalize it and be specific

Thank You for being there for us all
Thank you for your teachings, I appreciate them so much.
Thank you for being so encouraging
Thank you for showing me love
Thank you for the love you show the children
Thank you for preparing the barbecue
Thank you for feeding the children
Thank you for being so patient
Thank you for loving mom

Whatever is personally done that you appreciate them for, this year let us go beyond Happy Fathers Day only, say a note of appreciation. It is really ok.

Cook Something Special For The Day

Make it a family affair and cook something special for the day. You know how I love meals as a family together. Food brings people together and how much more a family. You know your spouse or father better, cook their favorite meal for the day.

If they love an English breakfast, why not spoil them to it.

You might want to plan on this one, preparing ahead makes life much easier. You can gather all the ingredients you need for the day.

Relate Post!

Meal Times Are Family Fun Times

Join Him On His Favorite Hobby

What is his favorite hobby?

It may be time you participated in it so that he feels the support and love from you. We all have things we love to do as our hobbies, interests and we love to be supported by people who are close to us.

Does Your Spouse or dad love watching soccer, gardening, reading, making crafts or making silly jokes?Join in and make it more fun because you are doing it with him.

Most of the time we do not pay attention to the needs of a father as long as the mother and everyone is ok then the father must be alright.

As much as their actions are not led by emotions but logic they do love attention and support from the people they love.

Get Him A Gift!

Get him a gift that can always be a reminder of the things you appreciate about him. Simply find out what he would loves by simply listening to him.

**My mom and dad. Dad loves reading, coffee and an English breakfast.**

He may be someone who reads a lot, get him a book along the ones he reads. If he is a coffee lover, a coffee plant might be something really special or if he is a fan of a certain soccer team get him the team gear.

Get hints from the things he spends time on like his hobbies and interests.

Try Something New

Life is so beautiful and it is meant to be lived sometimes by living out of the cocoon and box we have created for ourselves.

Try a new restaurant and maybe study their menu prior. This helps you order something you could actually enjoy.

Take a drive and try the restaurants out of town say the games reserves. You will be amazed at what hidden germs you will discover. You can even consider a mini vacation

Mini Vacation/ Staycation

For the longest time families have been on lock down and now that movement is normal it may be a great time to get away for some leisure outing. This will refresh daddy and if he is up for it, pack up and enjoy a time away from home.

Add To His Collection

What sort of things does he love to collect?

vintage items
mugs
watches
movies
books

Involve The Children On DIY cards

This could be so much fun! DIY cards from your children are literally the sweetest. these are quite simple to make and the children will love contributing to something special for daddy.

We can teach children how important it is to honor your mother and father while they are young.

What You Need!

Color Paper
Crayons
Pencils
Paint (optional)

Fold The color paper into half and let the children use their expressions of love in the form of art. From hearts to words , however do help the younger children to articulate what they want to say into words.

Enjoy.

Road Trip Baby

Pack up the entire family and take a road trip. Maybe he has been so occupied with work and he just needs to relax and enjoy the drive without being stuck in traffic or actually late for an appointment.

There are always lovely places to see locally and support the local community along your road trip so you feed daddy too.

Build A Camp Fire

Oh imagine as we in the the winter months right now. A camp fire will do just the trick and a roast of marshmallows if you have younger children.

What I know is that camp fires are so relaxing and they keep you warm and make it easier to share stories as families, stories we hardly tell on a normal day.

To make things a bit uncomplicated make one in your backyard and watch the younger children not to play with it.

Host A Family Barbecue

I guess this time you will be the one actually preparing the meat or burgers on the fire so that daddy has a relaxed day.

Barbecues allow you to eat something different as a family and that makes it quite special.

Desert, desert, desert!

We are sure a desert is one of those things daddy’s love and you will be surprised just how much he will appreciate it after a really good meal that he loves.

This can be as simple as a cake that he can enjoy. Get his favorite cake though.

Help Him With His Work

Be it chores or his projects he works on at home. Offer a helping hand and let him have a good relaxed day. If he always starts the fire in the house, maybe this time you can help him start the fire.

He may just like keeping his car clean, so help him wash the car and let it be a cool bonding session that he can appreciate.

Game Night

Think of some fun games you can play as a family whether its puzzles , cards or do you remember the snakes and ladders game? yeah bring that one back.

It will sure leave you in stiches of laughter.

The Fast and The Furious From 1 to 7 Marathon

It has fast cars, action surely this will be fun to watch however not with young children. Unless you start watching after you take them to bed. However there are plenty of movies he can enjoy as a family besides this one specifically.

If it is your dad, a think more like titanic or a good hit movie in the late 1900’s. Try something new too you may just be surprised.

Organise A Picnic

What is lovely about a picnic is that it is very intimate and can be personalised to daddy’s favourite food and scenery.

If you are not up for travelling or you would like to save, do backyard picnic and prepare ahead.

Remember it is the thought that counts.

Book A Massage

Some of the things a man enjoys are quite surprising and a massage is something great for their bodies to relax.

Another option is to have a home spa day and give your spouse a massage in appreciation of the dad he is.

Watch A Soccer Match Together

How fun are family themed days though! Nothing says family than doing things together. Do this with a soccer match

This will be epic for any daddy that loves soccer and for the family he loves to join in and participate is a blessing. Comment and celebrate when he celebrates too. Keep it fun!

Video Calls

Ok, now if your dad is far or you are in a blended family and other children may not be able to join you or maybe some are in boarding schools, how about doing a video call on zoom meetings or facetime!

This will most definitely make daddy be so happy to receive such warmth from his own seed.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Ephesians 6:1-4 NIV

Enjoy the planning

Connect with me

allthingsgodlypretty@gmail.com

Wrapped in love,

Futhi Mkhwanazi