I do not know what you like, but i do know you have interests too. I would like to help you transition from your post partum journey of completely focusing on your baby to simply taking time away even if its an hour to rekindle your passions. This will make you a better mom because you will live with so much passion.
This comes from a mom who suppressed herself so much from her own passions.
The worst thing a mom can do to herself is deprive herself from living and doing just that one thing that makes her look forward to waking up and pursuing something. As your children grow you will notice the need to reconnect with yourself more.
Have you ever felt guilty for spending the whole afternoon away from your children or simply sitting on the couch just watching a movie?
I used to do everything and i was the perfect homemaker but I was constantly unhappy because i centred everything around my children forgetting to take care of myself and i did not even buy myself a cute gym outfit as i maintained consistency at the gym to make a simple example.
Confessions of the super mom!
I lived through this year having the goal to be the super mom. I wanted to have everything under control, at home, at work, business, blogging, you tube. I imagined taking all the field trips we had planned to take for our Homeschooled! Children.
Many times we get so focused on our roles as moms which is good but balancing everything in life is better because you do not deprive yourself neither do you deprive your family from what they need to live their best too. A happier mom makes a wonderful home.
Apart from striving to be an excellent mom i hoped to listen to the urges i have within me and to pursue the things that i love so i can find fulfilment too in what makes my heart dance.
Guess what! I can never be a super mom because i need help, of course there are days where we really feel we have it all under control as moms until a day comes where you have nothing under control, you miss schedules, your toddler throws endless tantrums, the house is messy and it humbles you as a parent.
Then you remember no one is perfect but we all try to do our best. If you can continuously aim for doing your best with each moment as a parent then what i will have at the end of the day is the best mommy for our children.
Suppressing hobbies and Indulgencies
We live our lives daily with pressures we have allowed and expectations of how a mom should be. We get so crowded with such information and we live up to it most of the time without realising.
Let me speak about myself as a mom that countless times i have suppressed my love for fashion, makeup, travel, food and i have found myself suppressing especially the ones that appear selfish.
The reason i use the word selfish is because we always assume that a mom should not consider much about her own hobbies, dreams and visions but only take care of her children’s needs.
There are things that you absolutely love that keep lingering in your heart. I relate so well to this because i have had all three babies cry at the same time and all you think of with that little time that you afford you desire to recover from the toddler drama you had.
Transition From Post Partum nursing to the cool mom
Due to lack of words let us use the words cool mom today! The process of giving birth is not an easy one and bouncing back to normal after a baby is far from easy as much as it is one of the most beautiful times of one’s life.
Stop feeling guilty for being away from your baby.
That short space of time to yourself is good for you and your child/ children. This becomes easier if you work fulltime and you will eventually return to work because it forces you to learn to leave the baby for a few hours.
This does not become easier with the more children that you have though. It can be challenging at first.
Giving time to yourself can help you regain your identity as an individual because you may have focused on the baby and completely forgot to rediscover your interests and feel connected to the environment.
Make Time
Take each time you can find during the day to work on yourself as a mom. There is more that makes a moms character and personality than being a homemaker.
If you can find ten minutes in your schedule to do take care of yourself as a mom, then do so. If you love art, spend that 10 minutes perfecting your art skills.
I love make up and fashion so i literally practise whenever i am inspired after work. I just get home, change my clothes and start doing a makeup style i recently saw. Then i can go do my cooking and after supper i can wash it all off.
Clothing Trends
Everyone loves a specific way they adorn themselves. I watch how my girls love playing dress up and imitate me. It is so adorable and i too have a role to play in this. I can bring them little gifts of pretty dresses and cute accessories from time to time.
They are growing too as they watch us as parents.
They will learn more about themselves and their preferences. As they watch you as a role model they are inspired to be creative too.
When you shop for your children’s clothes include yourself because it is too easy to neglect yourself yet mommy has to look presentable alongside her children
Your old photos
Images tell a story and most of the time i use them as an inspiration for my blog posts. This is because a picture tells a story and this can remind you a lot of the things that interest you. This is a fresh way of reminding yourself of what mom likes.
It may happen that you look at your old photos and wonder what happened to you but we are always growing and changing as beings so remember not to be too hard on yourself.
Proceed with your self care routine
Self care is more than taking care of your morning and night time routine but it is actually filling your own cup so you can fill your children’s cups too.
Related post
Self Care Is More Than Just A Beauty Routine
Inspired by antique pieces
I have heard countless women that i know who have gorgeous antique pieces of art and quality clothing from their parents.
I am reminded of how much i loved watching my mom dress up and look really good.
Other Moms
Sometimes it may take finding inspiration from other moms who have travelled this hood before you. Sometimes its younger mothers than you but you just learn so much from them.
Use the holiday season to remember your dreams and aspirations
For most people this season is the most relaxed season and you can use the time you have to reflect on things that you have put aside yet you love and work on reviving that because that is how you are fulfilled. This is by pursuing the things God has laid in your heart.
Revisit your goals!
You wrote them somewhere and there are many reasons we decide to put the things we should be pursuing aside.
Some moms just bounce back to their lives after having a baby yet some of us it takes us a lot of adjusting here and there to feel more of ourselves again. You may be that mom or the mom finds it challenging to transition after giving birth. Life has changed for sure but children do grow and as they grow things become easier as they express their independence too.
Let me know what has made your post partum journey much easier and what you look towards to the most if you are expecting!
Wrapped With Love!
Futhi Mkhwanazi
All Things Godly and Pretty 